I would not dwell upon your crimes, to harrow up your soul, if it were not for your good” (Alma 39:7).
Some people would claim that we dwell too much on negative things in life by taking steps 4 and 5 and that doing so can only add to our stress. In this verse, we are taught that facing shortcomings can do us good, not just “harrow up” (or distress) our souls. In what ways can steps 4 and 5 relieve you of stress and bring you more peace?
I feel steps 4 and 5 have relieved so much stress and caused me to feel so much better about the direction I’m headed. I feel I’ve been completely honest with myself for the first time in my life. I’ve not worried so much about what others think and have decided that these are steps GOD wants me to take to receive full forgiveness and healing from my addiction.
As I talked with the Bishop, I felt he thought this – that I was being too hard on myself. I’m glad that, with the help of Jason and Greg, I was able to feel that what I was doing was a necessary step in my recovery from my addictions. I’m grateful for what I’ve learned as I’ve worked hard to implement steps 4 and 5.
I look forward to future steps where I’ll get to continue to take a personal inventory and when I’m wrong, promptly admit it.
Things I’m Thankful For
- Saying a prayer when I got home tonight to not be tempted to “browse” on the computer while I was home alone
- Asking for help to not “surf” the TV channels too
- Praying on my way home from work to keep my chin up and not watch girls run as I drove by
- Being able to talk with Devin and Raul about their progress in their recovery
- Talking with Becky about her “addictions” and seeking to understand where she’s coming from
- Getting to play basketball tonight with friends
- Opportunities that are presenting themselves in my career
- The “learning curve” I’m going through with Live Forex Trading
By this ye may know if a man repenteth of his sins — behold, he will confess them and forsake them” (D&C 58:43).
To forsake something means to abandon it or give it up completely. How do you demonstrate your desire to forsake your old ways by completing step 5?
By writing out my complete inventory and then sharing with other people, I feel I’m showing to myself, to others, and mostly to God that I don’t want to have any secrets any more, I want to change my heart and start anew. I feel by simply writing the problems out on paper and then talking about them, progress has been made that was NEVER made in the 20+ years of my addiction. Never did I go in to too much detail about my core issues; never did I really talk about pornography with my Bishop(s); never did I think I had addictions. I’m grateful for these steps that have helped me learn that I have to rely on God every day, every moment, if I really want to overcome these issues.
I’m excited to speak with Jason tomorrow and start step 6.