Today was a tougher day than I’d like to admit. I had a long night last night, working on stuff for e.T. and the like.
I was tired today and not on my “A-game”.
A few of the things I wished I would have done different:
- Gone to bed earlier the night before
- Created a better to-do list and stuck to it
- Not looked at a few pictures of a person I didn’t even know on Facebook because they were a friend of mine
- Not watched their modern dance video: although it wasn’t “bad” it was just not the direction I know I want to be going
- Not wasted probably 30 minutes playing a game on my cell phone during lunch
What I will do different in the future when I’m that tired and feel I’m not on my “A-game”:
- Stay completely away from Facebook
- Create a very specific To-Do List and share it with someone to hold me accountable
- Call Jason or someone to just talk through things
Today I read through Step 7 about Humility. My first impression was, “Man, have I really covered all I need to cover in Step 6?” “I’m definitely haven’t completely had a ‘change of heart’ yet.”
I talked with Jason about this a bit tonight too. His recommendation was to pray about it and remember that in some cases this could be a form of procrastination or fear of the unknown.
So, I’m moving forward, knowing that I will continually work on having a change of heart throughout my life.
I really like these quotes:
When we had progressed to this point, we were ready to pray without any other motivation but our desire to become one in heart and in mind with Heavenly Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.
Genuine remorse filled our hearts, not only because we had suffered or made others suffer but because we regretted that even in recovery we still could not remove our own shortcomings.
We had to surrender every particle of self-sufficient pride and admit that our efforts to save ourselves had been insufficient.
Our experience taught us that in taking step 7 we were not excused from the work that was ours to do. We still had to be patient and “press forward with a steadfastness in Christ” (2 Nephi 31:20).
We finally abandoned the idea that we could become perfect by ourselves, and we accepted the truth that God desires us to conquer our weaknesses in this life by coming to Christ and being perfected in Him.
We who have embraced these principles must warn you that you cannot expect to take this step without sacrifice—and rightly so.
By keeping a simple prayer in your heart, such as “Lord, what wilt thou have me do?” or “Thy will be done,” you will be continually reminded of your total dependence upon the Lord.
I’m really excited to study this Step. It’s interesting, just like the other steps, I feel as I read this that it has blended in so well with Step 6. I’m glad I reviewed Step 6 the way I did, for me at least. I do feel I’m ready for Step 7. Step 7 doesn’t require a perfect change of heart – simply a willingness to submit my entire will to the Lord and beg for Him to take control of the direction I’m going.
I love this quote from President Ezra Taft Benson:
“When we put God first, all other things fall into their proper place or drop out of our lives. Our love of the Lord will govern the claims for our affection, the demands on our time, the interests we pursue, and the order of our priorities” (Ezra Taft Benson, in Conference Report, Apr. 1988, 3; or Ensign, May 1988, 4).
This quote hits home to me so much right now as I’m struggling with work and what’s been happening. To me, this is a direct answer – as long as I put my complete trust in God, put Him first in my life, “…all other things fall into their proper place or drop out of [my] life.”
Things I’m Thankful For
- That we went on a family bike ride tonight
- That I kept my goal to not raise my voice to any of the kids
- That Becky and I were able to watch the Biggest Loser together and learn from it
- That I was able to really listen to Becky last night as she talked about things going on in her life
- That I didn’t interrupt, tell her what she needed to do, etc.
- That my idea for our email marketing campaign just feels right – telling my story of how I got involved in online marketing and relating it to our clients situations of insecurity, fear, etc.
- That I was able to start Step 7 today!
Hasta luego!
Nate
Today I’m starting the review of the Step 7 questions. It’s interesting to read back at my thoughts at the time. I really do feel there is more I can do, primarily in submitting my will and earnestly praying for Heavenly Father’s help in overcoming my weaknesses.
I don’t feel I’ve spent earnest time in personal prayer. Yes, I’ve practiced the “I need your help” strategy over and over again, but making time to have a good conversation is something I feel I can do more consistently to show God my time is not more important than HIs.
I feel another “sacrifice” I can make to God is kneeling down to say my personal prayers, at least in the morning and at night. No, this isn’t a sacrifice necessarily, or shouldn’t be, but it’s something I’m not doing now that I feel could help.
I’m grateful to be staring the review process and look forward to getting back closer to the Spirit. Today, and other days throughout this step, I feel like I’ve been in the “yellow area” of the pendulum of addiction.