14 But every man is atempted, when he is drawn away of his own blust, and enticed.
15 Then when lust hath conceived, it bringeth forth asin: and sin, when it is finished, bringeth forth death. (James 1:14-15)
It was the look in his son’s eyes that brought Blaine* back to the truth. Suddenly he saw that in his child’s hurt and confusion was the real disaster of his adultery and broken marriage covenant. He felt convicted.
Years earlier, Blaine had begun complaining that his wife spent too much time with the children and Church service. “I felt neglected,” insisted Blaine, who began to view his wife’s love of the children and of the gospel as a burden.
Over time, he began to embrace the views of the world and convinced himself that chastity was not a necessary moral commitment. “We all change as we pass through the various stages of life,” he said to excuse himself. “An affair is no big deal.” Seeking to justify himself, he blamed his wife for his behavior.
But with the disciplinary council behind him and divorce papers potentially ahead of him, Blaine saw his excuses, his rationalizations, his blindness. He had called good evil and evil good. He was losing his Church membership and perhaps his family. As he looked into his son’s eyes, he realized his own guilt, and, filled with remorse, he saw the anguish he had created for others. (“Truths of Moral Purity“)
Is this what I want?
Do I want to one day look in to my little children’s eyes – Caleb, Madi and Chloe – and have to tell them I’ve made mistakes that will effect their lives forever in a negative way?
Do I want to ruin all the hard work and commitment I’ve put in to my marriage, from the initial friendship, then courtship, then the beautiful marriage in Nauvoo, all the relationships we’ve developed with our families and friends, our home and careers, etc. Do I really want to destroy all that for a moment of “pleasure” that will not result in ANYTHING good?
OF COURSE I DON’T!
Who would?
But this is what I’m doing, this is the path I’m going down, if I continue to lust after others, looking at pictures of other women on Facebook, looking at other women and not following the “chin-up” concept that I really believe in.
Lust leads to acting out. PERIOD!
I’ve read in Step 7 that I need to make sacrifices. I feel strongly that Facebook is a sacrifice I need to make. Yes, it’s fun to use Facebook for business. Yes, it’s fun to connect with old friends. But when I start “browsing” around and look for pictures that I know won’t be pornographic but will “push the limits” – that’s when I am sinning. I’m almost ASKING for the above story to come true for me too.
Chastity and fidelity begin in the spirit, not in the body. They are an expression of the condition of our spirit. When our spirit is in tune with godly thinking and gospel truths, we want to live high standards, and our actions reflect that desire. Thus, chastity and fidelity are more than sexual abstinence before marriage and sexual fidelity after marriage. They express the quality of our spiritual life…
…Lost because of adultery are trust, unity, sacrifice, honesty, humility, and covenants. Lost because of immorality are confidence, commitment, worthiness, and promise. Sexual impurity ruins individual lives, yet the consequences always continue beyond the present moment, beyond the illicit relationship, and stretch across generations. We cannot isolate the consequences of our sins from others. Mothers sorrow, fathers weep, brothers and sisters are horrified, children are visited with the impact of sins and of consequences not of their making. Marriages are deeply threatened or destroyed.
“Lucifer … will use his logic to confuse and his rationalizations to destroy. He will shade meanings, open doors an inch at a time, and lead from purest white through all the shades of gray to the darkest black” (Faith Precedes the Miracle [1972], 152).
“Whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart,” said the Lord (Matt. 5:28).
The gospel teaches that “wickedness never was happiness” (Alma 41:10). Conversely, the world teaches that happiness is in wickedness.
…anyone who takes the idea of personal identity and family seriously, anyone who sees the value of lasting, high-quality relationships across generations, anyone who understands how parents create a home where love, commitment, and sacrifice abound, understands the insidious threat to individual well-being that premarital sex and marital infidelity create.
Consistent with our covenants as Latter-day Saints, our goal is to align our spirits with the Lord’s thinking and to his gospel truths—to give our hearts to God. When we do so, we change the condition of our spirits. Then chastity and fidelity become the result, and with that result comes a life of immeasurable blessings.
Isa. 5:20 ¶ Woe unto them that call aevil bgood, and good evil; that put cdarkness for dlight, and light for darkness; that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter!
| False worldly ideas | Truths of the gospel |
| 1. It’s my life. I can do with it what I want. | 1. I am a child of God. I belong to God. In fact, I have been “bought with a price” by his Only Begotten Son (see 1 Cor. 7:23). |
| 2. To avoid sexually explicit movies or television is prudish. None of it really affects us. You can be above it. | 2. Whether in big doses or small doses, poison is poison. Lustful thoughts give birth to sin (see James 1:14–15). In fact, we will be judged by our thoughts, words, and deeds (see Mosiah 4:30). |
| 3. We have to be realistic about ourselves; we’re only human. | 3. We each have the power to choose the right (see 2 Ne. 2:27; Hel. 14:30). We will not be tempted above what we can bear (see 1 Cor. 10:13; 3 Ne. 18:15). |
| 4. Sexual feelings are normal and natural and need to be expressed. It is unhealthy to repress or deny those feelings. | 4. Sexual feelings are normal and natural and are to be expressed after we are married, but it is not unhealthy to control them. Jesus taught, “And now for a man to take up his cross, is to deny himself all ungodliness, and every worldly lust, and keep my commandments” (see JST footnote to Matt. 16:24). |
| 5. We shouldn’t be ashamed of our bodies, so why make a big thing out of how we dress? | 5. Our bodies are not to be used to tempt or encourage sin in others (see 1 Tim. 2:9–10; 1 Cor. 3:16–17; 1 Cor. 6:19–20). |
| 6. What is wrong with sex before marriage between consenting adults? | 6. Premarital sex is forbidden by God and is a fundamental misuse of creative powers (see 1 Cor. 6:13, 18; Jacob 3:12). |
| 7. It is easy to repent. | 7. Repentance that brings back the Holy Ghost is an agony unanticipated by those who thought they could disobey God. The idea that anyone can trifle with genuine repentance and character change trivializes the Savior and his Atonement (see Alma 39:5–9; D&C 18:11; D&C 19:4; D&C 82:7). |
| 8. Just because we’re living together doesn’t mean we’re not committed to each other. Marriage is not necessary. It is just a formality. | 8. A commitment that rejects the covenant of marriage is in reality a refusal to commit. In fact, “marriage is ordained of God” and is a covenant that is not to be mocked (D&C 49:15). Our obligation is to God and to all present and future family members (see “The Family: A Proclamation to the World,” Ensign, Nov. 1995, 102). |
| 9. If we don’t live together, how will we know if we’re sexually compatible? | 9. Sexual compatibility is an expression of your social-emotional-spiritual compatibility. In fact, if you have problems, it will be because of the condition of your spirits, not the incompatibility of your bodies. |
I’m grateful for this study today. It’s helped get me out of the gray area that can be a “lustful spirit”.
Looking at and lusting after others is and will never be a productive and healthy practice.
I know Satan has come at me lately with the concept of “You’re going to lose your sex drive if you don’t keep it active and fed…”
This is not true. This is a blatant lie. This is an attempt and justifying sin!
Things I’m Grateful For:
- That I had this study today
- That I made the necessary time to research this topic
- That I was able to write out my feelings and think it through
- That I’m meeting with Jason tomorrow to discuss this more
- That I recognize that I have lots of room for improvement
- That I have the desire to completely turn my will over to God
- That I know that the Savior wants what’s best for me and for my family
Now the key is to REMEMBER, and always retain in remembrance, my own nothingness, and my dependence on God to help me overcome these natural man tendencies.
I know that with God, all things are possible.
Hasta manana!
Nate
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