It’s late. Becky is having a YW retreat in the basement so I’ve just been doing nothing.
Today was an eventful day. Started out well at our 9:00 meeting. Our team is doing really good with BES.
Then the curve ball: Dane invited me to a meeting with Ethan and Jason at Jason’s office. I didn’t think too much of it until I ask him what it was for and he just said, “Just need to discuss some things…” Then, on the way over, he talked on and on about college football with no real point…
When I got there we cut right to the chase. Ethan asked if I was selling services to PR clients behind closed doors. To which I honestly stated that no, I wasn’t and that I never had. He talked about how doing stuff like that was basically “stealing”.
He asked me to do an audit of things. Here it is:
- Bobbi B. – Bluehost eBook link – recently
- Kim F. – Aweber article link – about 1 year ago
- Doug F – Woothemes article link – about 2 years ago – I believe Doug bought a Wootheme for his site from an article I’d written about the subject
- Showing my eBook in screen sharing – one affiliate link included but have not seen any sales through that link
- Telling clients if they wanted a free copy to email me and I’d send it to them
- Mentioning my Facebook for Business eBook in a webinar too and sending it in an email to a few clients to help them understand Facebook better – no affiliate links included
- Charging Collin Karthner to design a PR Training Center site, approved by Doug Folsom about 2 years ago
- Charging for the hosting of that site recently, have not been paid yet
- Talking with Ben when I saw a Hostgator affiliate sale: Ben explained that he was trying to get the lady set up with Bluehost through the PR link but Bluehost was down, he then took her to Hostgator not even thinking about a link. He said there must have been a cookie or something on his computer because we ended up getting credit for the sale although it didn’t seem to be intentional. I didn’t talk to anyone about this.
- Talking with Matt E. and Trent J. about offering WordPress services in-house to help clients get things set up quickly and effectively – no action has been taken, other than I put together WordPress design packages for in-house designer based on things I’d done in the past for my own clients outside of PR
- Using pictures of 2 PR clients websites that I helped design on MM (not on ET)
- Being really mad at Ethan for taking the interview that I did with him regarding Twiter and turning it in to an eBook that didn’t really say what I had said, twisted it in to a “Twitter Cash Kit”
- Being upset that Ethan promised the entire fulfillment team that once sales picked back up that the deductions that had been made would be brought back – hearing that this is not at all the intent now – mostly mad that no communication has occurred since that promise
- Feeling Dane is NOT about taking care of the fulfillment team, but instead protecting his own back at the cost of others – being a “YES MAN” (ie. we talk about a turn key website builder, I give my honest opinion to Ethan and Aaron, then they ask Dane, “Oh, I think it sounds great…”)
- Being promised in an email by Dane over 2 months ago that he would put together some sort of compensation proposal, since then NO WORD has been even mentioned of that, even though the topic was brought up by another DL, to which Dane responded that something was going to happen “really soon” – that was at least 3 or 4 weeks ago and no mention has been made since then, at least to me
- Helping our division make over $116K in BES and not really getting much of anything
- Being honestly afraid to share ANYTHING I’ve done on my own, for fear PR will take my idea, run with it, call it their own, and then say I’m “competing” with them and threaten to fire me if I don’t comply
- Being told we are an education company, but then having our main goals for the quarter be all about BES, never really investing time or money for ongoing employee education and training, at least that I’ve seen within the last 2-3 years. Blogword 2008 was last investment that I know of.
So there’s a full, complete inventory/audit of how I think I feel right now
That’s it. Yes, I’ve done work outside of PR for leads and clients of my own, but never have I even thought of offering those services to PR clients without completely disregarding the thought. I’ve never considered doing work like that outside of PR a non-compete issue.
So now I’m at a standstill. Basically they gave me an assignement:
- Do an audit of anything I can think of (see above)
- Think about options
- Decide on a direction
So, not sure where I’m going to go at this point or what’s going to happen.
Tomorrow I think I’ll go to the temple to pray about things, ponder and hopefully find an answer.
The toughest thing about this decision is that I feel, in my mind, I already have an answer, but I don’t know if it’s my thinking or if it’s Heavenly Father telling me to do what I feel.
Ethan brought up “stealing” in our meeting today and that’s caused me to reflect. Have I been “stealing”? As my audit states above, there have been a few times where I recommended something. I need to make sure I’m completely honest with myself and with others.
My defensive side wants to ask Ethan on Monday about how NW has been “stealing” from clients who have NO IDEA what they’re buying or why and will never use the service at all – they get almost bullied in to the purchase as if it’s a MUST HAVE or they won’t succeed. Is that “stealing” too?
Anyway, I will need to think about this all with an open mind and a clear conscience.
George Herbert, an early 17th-century poet, wrote these lines: “He that cannot forgive others breaks the bridge over which he himself must pass if he would ever reach heaven, for everyone has need of forgiveness.”
There are some who have difficulty forgiving themselves and who dwell on all of their perceived shortcomings. I quite like the account of a religious leader who went to the side of a woman who lay dying, attempting to comfort her—but to no avail. “I am lost,” she said. “I’ve ruined my life and every life around me. There is no hope for me.”
The man noticed a framed picture of a lovely girl on the dresser. “Who is this?” he asked.
The woman brightened. “She is my daughter, the one beautiful thing in my life.”
“And would you help her if she were in trouble or had made a mistake? Would you forgive her? Would you still love her?”
“Of course I would!” cried the woman. “I would do anything for her. Why do you ask such a question?”
“Because I want you to know,” said the man, “that figuratively speaking, Heavenly Father has a picture of you on His dresser. He loves you and will help you. Call upon Him.”
A hidden wedge to her happiness had been removed.
I feel I’m ready to move on to Step 9. I feel I’m ready to forgive. I feel there are things I can be honest about with Ethan, Jason, and Dane. I feel as long as I’m honest and don’t hold a grudge, things will work out the best.
I just went and added more to my list/audit/inventory. I’ll be praying about this more and thinking it through tomorrow!