Not a bad day today, but may not have been my best overall.
I felt a lot of resentment tonight after talking with Becky about Christmas and how we plan to use our time.
The main issue that has come up is that Becky’s parents offered to fly us back there (on their dime) to be with some of the family for the holidays. I didn’t feel good about that, especially based on the timing of my business decisions and our budget. I don’t think Becky thought highly of the idea either.
In fact, last night we talked about it and she mentioned how anxious she was feeling about the whole thing. She said she was going to talk to Mom today and just tell her the timing isn’t right and that we’d like to just be here this year for a variety of reasons: 1) they are coming out here in January anyway to see Steph and Andy’s new baby 2) we don’t want to mooch 3) we’d like to just lay low this year, especially based on what’s happened with work and my business stuff 4) we just both feel it’s a good opportunity to sacrifice and not overindulge.
So, that was discussed this morning and it seemed to go fairly well.
Then tonight Becky has talked with her sisters and dad and her mind seems to be changed a bit. She feels bad. She doesn’t know what to do. The anxiety is back again. I’m like – WHAT THE…. She talks about her family coming out here for Christmas. We talk about the cost that would be on us to furnish things, food, etc. I just stopped talking about it after a while though because I was so irritated that I felt we’d both made a decision together last night and now BOOM, someone influences her and her mind may be changed. AAAAAHHHH!
Things did go fairly well for work.
- I got the 2nd half of the DA payment, which helped me toward my goal for the week.
- I made at least 1 official sale of some of the inventory I have for CO, 3 other pending sales on the discounted stuff.
- I talked with George about getting more discounted shoes and about his website a bit.
- I talked with Mike about accounting stuff for the car.
- I talked about the Aesthetics site too – just waiting on the doctors for that one
- We talked about the Paypal stuff and I hope to get that done tomorrow
- I scouted out all the businesses around JDHS for ad space sales for HS in 2011
- I’m talking with EHR tomorrow about SEO stuff
- I’m doing a 3-way call with Devin tomorrow in regard to new site options
- I found out that white board can be purchased at Home Depot for like $12 🙂
- I thought alot about a referral process and networking with people I know
- Josh C
- Rick A
- Andy M
- Mat S
- Mike M (AD)
- Ben B
So, I can’t complain too much. I just hope this whole Christmas ordeal can be over tomorrow and we won’t keep looking back after a decision is made.
Step 9 Question
“Men cannot forgive their own sins; they cannot cleanse themselves from the consequences of their sins. Men can stop sinning and can do right in the future, and so far their acts are acceptable before the Lord and worthy of consideration. But who shall repair the wrongs they have done to themselves and to others, which it seems impossible for them to repair themselves? By the atonement of Jesus Christ the sins of the repentant shall be washed away; though they be crimson they shall be made white as wool. This is the promise given to you” (Joseph F. Smith, Gospel Doctrine, 5th ed. , 98–99).
As you go out to make amends, do not be discouraged by thoughts such as, “This is impossible! There’s no way I can adequately make up for the wrong I’ve done this person!” Although that may be true, consider the power of Jesus Christ to repair those things you cannot repair. Write about the necessity of trusting that Jesus Christ will do what you cannot do.
This is all about putting my trust in the Lord and not being scared of the arm of the flesh. I have to be confident that my intentions are right and that I want to do the will of Heavenly Father. Making amends is what He wants me to do right now and I feel I’m ready to do that.
One specific thing I feel I need to do is begin looking at my inventory and making a specific list of the people I need to speak with. I feel I need to start mapping out a game plan on how I’m going to make amends, for what, to who, etc.
The whole incident with JC is a testimony to me of how be willing to make amends and doing everything I can takes off so much stress and apprehension. I still don’t know what’s going to happen with that situation, but honestly I’m not worried because I feel I’ve been open and honest and willing to do whatever it takes to make complete amends.
I know that there is only so much that I can do to make amends for the harms I’ve caused others. The rest will have to be through the Atonement of Jesus Christ.
I feel I’ve made amends today to two of the clients I was working with at PR (Bobbi and Tino). I sent them messages via chat and via LinkedIn stating my apologies for leaving on short notice and not getting to say goodbye. I didn’t tell them too much about what happened but uttered my appreciation for their friendship. I hope they get taken care of sufficiently.
I just searched for “Trust in the Lord” at LDS.org and found a few talks that seemed to stick out. The first is titled, “Tears, Trials, Trust, Testimony” by President Monson.
To reach, to teach, to touch the precious souls whom our Father has prepared for His message is a monumental task. Success is rarely simple. Generally it is preceded by tears, trials, trust, and testimony.
“I say unto you, that by small and simple things are great things brought to pass.” 5
“Wherefore, be not weary in well-doing,” said the Lord, “for ye are laying the foundation of a great work. And out of small things proceedeth that which is great. Behold, the Lord requireth the heart and a willing mind.” 6
What’s really interesting about those last two scriptures is that that is where my “mantra” for MM came from I think “Small Success leads to Big Success!” By small and simple things are great things brought to pass.
An abiding faith, a constant trust, a fervent desire have always characterized those who serve the Lord with all their hearts.
That long journey, made under such difficult circumstances, was a trial of faith. But faith forged in the furnace of trials and tears is marked by trust and testimony. Only God can count the sacrifice; only God can measure the sorrow; only God can know the hearts of those who serve Him—then and now.
Lessons from the past can quicken our memories, touch our lives, and direct our actions. We are prompted to pause and remember that divinely given promise: “Wherefore, … ye are on the Lord’s errand; and whatsoever ye do according to the will of the Lord is the Lord’s business.” 8
“Brethren, shall we not go on in so great a cause? Go forward and not backward. Courage, brethren; and on, on to the victory!” 10
Although this talk is focused on missionary work, I think the implications can be tied to what I’m doing right now: walking by faith and not really knowing what’s in store. I really feel that, as long as I am consistent and prayerful, “all things will work together for our good.”
The other talk I’m looking at it titled, “The Lord Thy God Will Hold Thy Hand” by W. Craig Zwick.
“Know ye not that ye are in the hands of God? Know ye not that he hath all power?” (Morm. 5:23).
The great plan of happiness includes a proverbial roller coaster of challenging times along with the most joyful times. Yes, we all have our moments of difficulty and heartbreak. Occasionally, they are so difficult for us that we just want to give up. There are times when our steps are unsteady, when we feel discouraged and even reach out in desperation.
Every one of us needs to know that we can go on in the strength of the Lord. We can put our hand in His, and we will feel His sustaining presence lift us to heights unattainable alone.
We must trust in the Lord. If we give ourselves freely to Him, our burdens will be lifted and our hearts will be consoled.
Elder Scott has recently counseled: “Trust in God … no matter how challenging the circumstance. … Your peace of mind, your assurance of answers to vexing problems, your ultimate joy depend upon your trust in Heavenly Father and His Son, Jesus Christ” (“The Sustaining Power of Faith in Times of Uncertainty and Testing,” Liahona and Ensign, May 2003, 76, 78).
How do we learn to trust?…Clear instruction came from the Lord to Joseph Smith: “Learn of me, and listen to my words; walk in the meekness of my Spirit, and you shall have peace in me. … Pray always, and I will pour out my Spirit upon you” (D&C 19:23, 38).
Here are four keys:
• Seek the Spirit
• Pray always
Just as little children trust, each of us must have that same childlike, unreserved trust. We must all remember that we are sons and daughters of God and that He loves us very much. If we truly understand who we are, we will have an unfailing source of hope and comfort.
We can never complete “the race that is set before us” (Heb. 12:1) without placing our hand in the Lord’s.
If we will keep the commandments of God and walk hand in hand with Him in His paths, we will go forward with faith and never feel alone.
Both those talks were really helpful, especially the 2nd one, in reminding me of the importance of trusting in the Lord with all my heart and leaning not to my own understanding.
I know he’s there for me. I know things don’t happen by coincidence. I know that, IF and WHEN I keep the commandments and turn my will to Him, I will be guided and led down the path that leads to success in this life and eternal joy.