Today could have been a really rough day for the “Carnal Nate:” I had an early meeting with Karen, then a meeting with Stan, then Becky was getting her hair done so she needed me to pick up Jayden in Lindon and take him home to take a nap.
Initially, I was a bit bugged that I had to do this during the work day, then bugged that it was out of my way, then bugged that I couldn’t find the place. I expressed a bit of this frustration with Becky on the phone and then felt like I caught myself before I went in to pick up Jayden.
On the way in to the salon, I said a prayer, asking for Heavenly Father to help me calm down, be understanding, and feel honored for the chance to be able to help Becky and Jayden.
It was really a miraculous feeling: as I got up the elevator and went to meet Becky and Jayden, I really felt my heart change and my frustration and stint of anger disappeared.
I was happy to see them.
I was excited to take Jayden home and read him a story. I was glad that my “job” allowed me to do something like that.
I’m grateful for the Atonement and realize that it’s not just for repenting or recovery from sin – it’s for submitting my will to God, asking for His help, and helping me when I know my natural man can’t do it. The tendencies of the natural man are carnal, devilish, and angry, prideful, self-centered, and sensual.
But Heavenly Father and His Son can help me change my heart if I’m willing and seek for their help in the moment of temptation.
I’ve done this quite a bit in regard to temptation from the “chin up” approach or other temptations like that, but I haven’t practiced as much with temptation to be angry or impatient or frustrated. Today, I felt, was a perfect example of how the Atonement can work in those situations too.
Contention and anger are ingredients of addiction.
In 3 Nephi 11, Christ, in His first visit to the Americas, talks about contention and where it comes from:
29 For verily, verily I say unto you, he that hath the spirit of acontention is not of me, but is of the bdevil, who is the father of contention, and he stirreth up the hearts of men to contend with anger, one with another.
I’m grateful for this realization today.
I’m grateful to be in recovery today.
I look forward to submitting my will to God and living another day in recovery tomorrow.