How I Can Cope with Fear

A new day.

Last night was a pretty good talk. I shared how I don’t compare, I don’t want to compare, and when I made those comments, they were in reference to what my sponsee had told me (and NOT how I was feeling at the time or how I feel today or how I ever want to feel).

Do I have other U’s I’m holding on to?

I think the biggest one is that I’m scared – scared that what I say or share will trigger more trauma, scared of the unknown with work, scared of failing with the sponsorship stuff, scared of failing with the Apple DEP stuff, just scared.

I don’t feel very connected to Becky. I feel scared of her fears too. I’ve been trying really hard to be my best self, to live in recovery, and to be aware of the boundaries she shared nearly two years ago.

But, as of last night, it seems to me that her fears are still there and are still really present. She’s shared with me that she has fear and trauma every day. She seems to be afraid that I am not that focused at work and that I won’t be able to support our family.

I know she’s just trying to share what’s on her mind and be open; hearing that kind of stuff is hard. I do want her to share, though – I don’t want to feel disconnected.

I know I’m not perfect. I know I’ve done a lot of things to cause the pain and trauma and am now suffering the consequences of those terrible choices.

I don’t want to freeze up and do nothing with work because of the fear of failure. I want to map out my plan and stick to the plan (just like I did as a salesman at Prosper back in the day).

So what is my plan?

For DEP:

• Understand clearly what I’m selling
  • What I do
  • Who it’s for
  • How they can get it
• Create my slide deck and presentation
• Create a quality landing page for DEP Service
• Create a list of discovery questions to help me develop the relationship with new businesses
• Make a list of the ideal clients
  • University Bookstores that sell Apple Products
    • Create a list in Google Drive
    • Start contacting these clients
      • Contact 5 new potential clients per day
• Check-in with Alex to see who I can reach out to

For Sponsorship:

• Revise my cold-call email pitch
• Reach out to 10 potential sponsors per day via email
• Create a list of discovery questions I can ask clients for an initial call
• Create 3 discovery calls with questions for each call
• Talk with Brett about what else we can provide
  • Season Tickets
  • Ad with Tickets to all attendees
  • Video on board
  • MC mention throughout game
  • Fliers
  • etc.

That’s my plan.

Now connection to God time…