The reading we did last night in the Book of Mormon stood out to me; I wanted to study it more and reflect on how it applies to my life.
Alma and Amulek have been talking to the people about their sins and calling them out. Zeezrom, a lawyer who’s job it’s been to stir up the people, that he can earn more money, is realizing what he’s done after Alma and Amulek testify to him and catch him in his own snares.
6 And it came to pass that Zeezrom was astonished at the words which had been spoken; and he also knew concerning the ablindness of the minds, which he had caused among the people by his blying words; and his soul began to be charrowed up under a dconsciousness of his own guilt; yea, he began to be encircled about by the pains of hell.
Blindness of the minds.
His soul began to be harrowed up under a consciousness of his own guilt.
He began to be encircled about by the pains of hell.
This is addict talk. This is shame and suffering and guilt.
And this is where it gets even more related to addiction and the affect it has on wives and children:
8 And they brought their wives and children together, and whosoever believed or had been taught to believe in the word of God they caused that they should be acast into the fire; and they also brought forth their records which contained the holy scriptures, and cast them into the fire also, that they might be bburned and destroyed by fire.
10 And when Amulek saw the pains of the women and children who were consuming in the fire, he also was pained; and he said unto Alma: How can we witness this awful scene? Therefore let us stretch forth our hands, and exercise the apower of God which is in us, and save them from the flames.
11 But Alma said unto him: The Spirit constraineth me that I must not stretch forth mine hand; for behold the Lord receiveth them up unto himself, in aglory; and he doth suffer that they may do this thing, or that the people may do this thing unto them, according to the hardness of their hearts, that the bjudgments which he shall exercise upon them in his wrath may be just; and the cblood of the dinnocent shall stand as a witness against them, yea, and cry mightily against them at the last day.
The wives and children were doing what was right: they believed or had been taught to believe in the word of God. But all they had been doing to try to connect with God and do His will was crushed and consumed in the fire – including their own lives.
Amulek wanted to save these innocent people from the misdeeds and wickedness of the people, but he was constrained by Alma.
God suffers that addicts may continue in their addiction if they so desire, “…according to the hardness of their hearts, that the judgments which he shall exercise upon them in his wrath may be just; and the blood of the innocent shall stand as a witness against them, yea, and cry mightily against them at the last day.”
I feel this is what is happening with we as addicts too: we are killing our wives and our children. We are causing them to suffer a pain that only they can understand. And it’s not ok, it’s not going to bide well for us at the last day.
I look forward to studying more once we get the kids off to school.
UPDATE: I’ve been reading Step 1 from the Step Into Action: 1, 2, 3 book and liked this:
“‘My automobile stops not the railroad track and will not start. I am locked inside. I cannot open the door. I cannot open the window. I cannot get out of the car. A train is coming. I am without power to stop the train from hitting my car, nor can I get out of the car to save myself. What is it that I am without power to do?
That train rushing at me is lust. I am powerless over lust.
It does not say I am powerless over my compulsive sexual behaviors. I am powerless over lust.’
“We are drawn helplessly to lust, trading short-term pleasure for long-term pain over and over again. The more one acts out, the greater the lust hunger; the greater the lust hunger, the more one acts out. We keep driving back onto the train track in spite of the growing awareness that we are in trouble.”
This was a good reminder and has helped me today.