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Home » The Real Addiction Recovery Equation – Part 2

The Real Addiction Recovery Equation – Part 2

By N

I wrote the other day about the Real Addiction Recovery Equation = Awareness + Honesty + Sobriety + Recovery Actions…

The Addiction Recovery Relationship, which I refer to all the time, is A (negative emotions) leads to B (lust), which leads to C (sexually acting out).

As I think about the equation I’ve made thus far, I may be skipping one: Recovery Behaviors.

Or maybe they come as I’m working on Recovery Actions…

Actions are a state of doing, where behaviors are a state of being.

I know that A, addictive behaviors lead to B, addictive actions.

According to Rhyll Croshaw, addictive behaviors include the following:

  • being dishonest
  • acting like a victim
  • being emotionally disconnected
  • hiding
  • being easily angered
  • minimizing
  • denying
  • blaming
  • showing a lack of empathy

Addictive actions include:

  • acting out sexually by viewing pornography
  • masturbating
  • engaging in any other sexual relationship outside of the marital relationship

When someone is in true recovery, the behaviors, and thus, the actions, don’t exist – they disappear.

If the behaviors are still present, true recovery is still absent.

Debilitating Negative Emotions => Addictive Behaviors which then lead to Addictive Actions, or lust and acting out.

First I feel the feelings and emotions, then I try to cope with them via addictive behaviors, next I use objectifying, browsing, sex, fantasy, and other triggers (lust) to reduce the feelings of isolation, loneliness, insecurity, fear, tension, etc. This is the false drug – the pacifier in coping with feelings – the “quick fix.” As lust raises its ugly head via addictive behaviors, it’s only a matter of time before I’ve fallen back into the C of the relationship – the sexually acting out. And thus goes the addictive cycle…

What’s the opposite of that then?

I feel the negative emotions, I recognize them for what they are. I surrender them to God, to a friend in recovery (my sponsor) and I write them down. I put my trust in God and others – humble myself. I make a commitment to do other things and to keep my weapons of war buried deep in the earth. I live a “new normal.”

How does that fit in the Real Addiction Recovery Equation? Awareness + Honesty + Sobriety + Recovery Actions

More to come!

Filed Under: Addiction Recovery

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Sobriety Date: 2/7/14

  • Days in Recovery:
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