This question came in from one of the guys in our group about helping teens with pornography addiction:
I’d really like to hear anything about how teens are coping with this addiction.
I have a 14-year-old who got hooked a year ago and he’s slowly working out of it with me, but there is no 12-step program aimed at teens.
What can I do to help him?
Please add your comments, suggestions, or additional questions about teen addiction recovery.
UPDATE: Thanks to all of you for your comments.
Here’s some advice from our friend Steven:
– Watch a video by Jason Carroll
– Show them Heart of the Matter
– Be honest about your own life
– Help them understand the affects of pornography
– Ask them questions:
What can we do to set up correct boundaries of safety?
How can we check in and be honest with one another?
– Get extremely honest, bold and humble without shaming
I have heard that there’s a program called the Sons of Helaman out of Salt Lake that is supposed to be really good for teens.
Thanks Cameron. I’ve heard of that too but haven’t ever looked into it. With an 11 year old, I definitely want to be prepared and help him not feel inclined to hide and isolate.
I’m not an expert but we have used this with our son to educate him.
Fortifyprogram.org
It is geared toward teens.
Thanks Kelly, I’ll pass this along. Hadn’t ever heard of this. We bought the book “Good Pictures, Bad Pictures” at UCAP but haven’t really looked at it yet. I’ve heard that’s a good tool as well to prepare kids for the dangers of pornography addiction.
Thanks for the comment.
Teen work can be quite different from a psychology perspective. There’s a lot that needs to be understood and facilitated along the lines of brain development, age of first exposure, depth of use at different ages, etc.
I do know of places like Oxbow Academy that help with sex addiction and sex offenses. I did work for them at my first ad agency job doing some website and marketing stuff.
Places like that are really expensive and tend to be immersive treatment facilities, but I don’t know of any organization that does more limited weekly group work along the lines of SA
Thanks for the comment JR. I did find out that there is an age restriction with SAL (18), probably for the reason you mentioned.
Hopefully one of the suggestions will help. I’m going to reach out to Steven as well and see what information he knows about.
Thanks again for the feedback.
Fight the New Drug is something to look at for help with teens.
A parent has to win the trust of their kids enough to talk about it openly. What the parent has to do is win enough confidence with their children: talk about the plan of salvation, future opportunities, what porn does to our brain, and all the other consequences.
If the kid keeps going back to pornography after it’s been talked about and addressed, they are addicted. As we know from our own experience, if we don’t then set boundaries, we’re toast. Honestly, a parent has to begin sexual education at age 2 talking about healthy sexuality.
Healthy Sexuality has to be taught. A teenager who is addicted to pornography will likely need qualified counseling, specialized counseling in sex addiction.
A father has an advantage if he’s working his own addiction recovery though. He can share his own experience, tell his story, how he got started, where it’s taken him, the pain it’s caused, and what he’s doing now to recover..
When we get into step 9, if we’ve been acting out and haven’t let our kids know what’s going on, we’ve denied them the truth about the reality of pornography addiction.
If a father has chosen the path and hasn’t been honest, it’s hard.
My son and I have been working recovery together. I’ve given him my own chips of recovery. He and I have been communicating openly through his recovery.
Advise:
– Watch a video by Jason Carroll
– Show them Heart of the Matter
– Be honest about your own life
– Help them understand the affects of pornography
– Ask them questions:
What can we do to set up correct boundaries of safety?
How can we check in and be honest with one another?
– Get extremely honest, bold and humble without shaming
Mike, I heard about this program last night that is specifically for teens: https://fortifyprogram.org
Hope this helps.