I started a discussion topic today about working the steps of recovery. I look forward to the feedback of others.
As I looked over the step work for my sponsee, it caused me to think about my fears: what they are and how I can deal with them?
Here’s the list I came up with:
- Fear of success
- Fear of failure
- What others think of me
- Meeting parents expectations
- Meeting wife expectations
- Taking care of my family financially
- Taking care of my family emotionally
- Taking care of my family spiritually
- Losing my family
- Losing my wife
- My parents dying
- My wife dying
- My kids dying
- Not being liked
- Not being accepted
- Falling back into old habits
- Getting trapped in places that aren’t healthy for recovery
- Places where there are lots of people
- Doing too much
- Not doing enough
- Not being connected to God
- Not being connected to my wife
- How my kids will turn out
- Mistakes I’ve made in the past – am I forgiven?
- Anti-Mormon literature
- Not working hard enough
- Working too hard
- Women in tight clothing
- Women with boob jobs
- Texting while driving
- Committing too much time to recovery
- Not committing enough time to recovery
- Sharing too much
- Talking too much
How can I deal with these fears in positive ways?
For me, today, the answer is SURRENDER: on my knees, on the phone, write it down.
That’s really the answer for all these fears. I can’t fix the feelings. I have to have faith in the process of surrender: as I’m willing to ask God for help, to reach out to others, and to write out my feelings, the feelings of fear and anxiety will dissipate. They may not go away completely, but my burdens will be lightened.
Fear is the opposite of faith. This reminds me of Alma 32:
21 And now as I said concerning faith—afaith is not to have a perfect knowledge of things; therefore if ye have faith ye bhope for things which are cnot seen, which are true.
If I have faith, I don’t have to have a perfect knowledge, I don’t have to know what’s going to happen; I just have to have hope and do my best.
I like what it says here in verse 22 as well:
…God is amerciful unto all who believe on his name; therefore he desireth, in the first place, that ye should believe, yea, even on his word.
Merciful. What does that mean?
He doesn’t forget me.
He won’t leave me desolate.
He wants to help me and bless me.
He is kind.
He is patient and long-suffering.
He is compassionate.
He is forgiving.
I’m grateful for a merciful God. I’m grateful that, today, I feel connected to Him. I feel I’m doing my best to reach out to others and to live in recovery today.
I look forward to a day in recovery and healing.
[…] Fear. Fear is what has been a root cause of my wanting to numb, hide, isolate, detach, and ultimately go down the path of lust and acting out. This has been the case my whole life if I’m honest with myself. Fear is the opposite of faith and to have faith, I have to do things that I can’t see but that I believe in. Surrendering my will is one of those practices. […]