What Am I Learning About Myself Today?

The title of this post was a question Becky ask me. She said if I can tell her one thing I’m learning about myself today, it will help her feel more safe.

The last couple days have been stressful with the whole proposal I’d been working on for the U. I didn’t realize it, but apparently I was displaying behaviors that made Becky feel like the old normal was coming back.

I was appreciative, last night, of her comments and that she’s willing to share her feelings.

What am I learning about myself today?

I had a hard time sleeping last night.

I had a lot on my mind and got up around 1:00 to just write down my list of things I can be working on.

I worked hard this morning to get the Somerset yard cleaned up.

I worked hard to get the back yard ready for the play set.

I have a tendency to shame Caleb; I’m wondering if this happened to me a lot as a kid, and I didn’t even realize it.

I’m afraid of writing the letter to my parents.

But I want to write the letter to my parents: I want to feel safe. I want Becky to feel safe.

I want to be humble and not feel I have things figured out.

I like what’s been shared about working the 12 Steps each day.

Questions I have about sponsorship:

• If a sponsee commits to work the steps with you as their sponsor, but then doesn’t keep their commitment, what do you do?
• Is there a calendar for working the steps that you try to follow?
• Do you base your step work off of certain curriculum?

This really stuck out to me today as I was part of the online SAL meeting:

We realize we know only a little. God will constantly dis­ close more to you and to us. Ask Him in your morning meditation what you can do each day for the man who is still sick. The answers will come, if your own house is in order. But obviously you cannot transmit something you haven’t got. See to it that your relationship with Him is right, and great events will come to pass for you and countless others. This is the Great Fact for us.

Abandon yourself to God as you understand God. Admit your faults to Him and to your fellows. Clear away the wreckage of your past. Give freely of what you find and join us. We shall be with you in the Fellowship of the Spirit, and you will surely meet some of us as you trudge the Road of Happy Destiny.

May God bless you and keep you-until then.

Step 3 Prayer too:

“God, I offer myself to Thee-to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of life. May I do Thy will always!” (Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 63)