I used a good 60 minutes today to work on my full disclosure document. It’s not fun and it brings back a lot of bad memories.
It also makes me feel scared for how Becky will take all my past. For whatever reason, the past is never something we’ve ever talked about. I’m not sure why.
Well, if I’m honest, I know why – because I’ve been an addict for a lot longer than I recognized and had been living a double life the whole time. If I told anyone anything, it was definitely a minimized version of what was really happening.
As I’ve taken the time to write things out, I’ve realized who much of a lie and an addict I’ve been since I was really young. And I had no idea.
One thing that’s come from the writing is that I want to help the kids understand the dangers of pornography, masturbation, and having inappropriate relationships with anyone. I don’t want them to make the same mistakes I made.
I’m grateful that, today, I feel like a different person. I am ever practicing chin-up and awareness, and this is helping me stay away from the lust addiction I’ve dealt with for such a long time in my life.
I look forward to a day in recovery.