The other day, while at the 12 Step meeting, I was looking through the action steps and realized something that I don’t think is coincidence: most if not all of the sections have 7 Main Sections to read and take notes on.
Now I know that may not be a huge discovery; however, it made me think – this could be a way for me to set up a study plan where I work on one of the sections each day of the week. One thing I’ve realized over and over but really need to APPLY is that studying the program and working it during the week is really important f I want to overcome these addictions.
So here we go (I did god on Thursday 9.10.09 but need to catch up on Friday, Saturday and Today):
The choice to begin recovery
“I would that ye should be humble, and be submissive and gentle; easy to be entreated; full of patience and long-suffering; being temperate in all things; being diligent in keeping the commandments of God at all times; asking for whatsoever things ye stand in need, both spiritual and temporal; always returning thanks unto God for whatsoever things ye do receive” (Alma 7:23)
Step 3 is a choice. Recovery happens by God’s power, but only after you choose to seek His help. Your decision opens the channels for His power to flow in to your life. Consider how humility, patience, gentleness, and so on are all choices. The last quality listed in the scripture is gratitude. How does gratitude help you be humble?
What an interesting section: I did read this section on Friday but didn’t really take the necessary time to study it out and answer the question or comment. Funny thing was, on Saturday Caleb and I had a knock-down-drag-out. He had put a blanket over Chloe completely and was jumping back and forth over her. I FREAKED OUT and spanked him really hard multiple times, took him to his room, spanked him a couple more times, yelled at him, and sparked the fire in him to start throwing things at the door and doing his rendition of my same temper tantrum.
Patience is a CHOICE. Looking back, I could have easily just taken the blanket off Chloe, sat him down and talked to him about why it was a big deal to NOT do those things. Instead I let my “natural man” instincts get to me and ended up taking Caleb to the “Police station” (not really but drove him to the only “station” I could find in Spanish Fork – the Fire Station), where we talked things over, prayed, asked for forgiveness for both our mistakes, and held each other for a bit.
I feel gratitude shows that I know I can’t do this on my own – I am thanking God and others for their help in my recovery. Gratitude is a sign of humility, realizing that it’s not all about me. Humility and empathy are synonyms. Charity and empathy are similar too and that’s exactly what the Atonement is – a manifestation of Charity and Empathy – Christ going through our pain, agony, suffering and sickness so he could “empathize” with us in our times of need. Now we have to GO TO HIM so he can help us.
What other qualities did Alma include in this list?
Being submissive, gentle, easy to be entreated (not sure what that means), full of patience and long-suffering, temperate in all things, diligent in keeping the commandments of God at all times, asking for whatsoever things you stand in need (in other words – praying always for help from God), always returning thanks unto God for what you receive (praying again for everything – recognizing His hand in all I’ve been blessed with.
Which of these qualities do you lack?
In many cases, ALL of THEM! These are ALL things I can work on. As I’ve become more successful in business I feel I’ve relied less and less on Heavenly Father. Not only is this dangerous now that I have a wife and children, but I’m not searching the scriptures enough and feel like I try to do things on my own far too much.
Which ones can you work on today? What can you do now to start?
Well, I think working on patience is something I can really focus on with the kids today. I can be so quick to snap, especially at Caleb. I can also work more on praying personally – at morning, night and during the day as I need His help, guidance, and also to thank Him for all the blessings he gives me every day.
One of the things I feel I’m doing now to start is applying this Plan for Study of the 12 Step Program. I feel this is being “submissive” and teachable. I feel this is one way I can show Heavenly Father that I’m putting my trust in Him and “leaning not unto my own understanding”. Another thing I feel i can do now to start is just recognize that I’m not patient. Recognition is the first step in the repentance process.
Saturday Study
Becoming as a child
“The natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father” (Mosiah 3:19)
Many of us experienced unloving treatment from parents or guardians, and becoming “as a child” is challenging, maybe even terrifying. If you have unresolved problems with a parent, what can you do to separate your feelings about your parent from your feelings about God?
I don’t feel that I have too many unloving treatment or unresolved issues from parents. The main thing I hope to do different with my kids is simply to talk to them about chastity, virtue and the why’s before they are too old or discover the stuff on their own. I feel prayer will be key in knowing when is the right time to talk to Caleb and the girls about this stuff. My feelings about God are simple – I need to communicate with Him more and put my full trust in Him to help me do things I can’t do on my own (which really is everything).
Although you may have problems to resolve with your earthly parents, you can have confidence in Heavenly Father and the Savior as perfect fathers. Why can you trust Heavenly Father and the Savior as you submit your life to Them?
To be honest, I’m not sure how much I’ve ever completely submitted my life to Them. I may have on my mission some but even then I’ll bet part of me thought I was doing it myself. This is something I really need to work on more. I have faith that, as I put my trust in Heavenly Father and the Savior, that things will work together for my good.
Sunday Study
Communing with God
“[Jesus] kneeled down, and prayed, saying, Father, if thou be willing, remove this cup from me: nevertheless not my will, but thine, be done” (Luke 22:41-42)
In this prayer, the Savior demonstrated His willingness to submit to the Father. He expressed His desires but then humbly did the will of His Father. Consider the blessing of being able to tell God your feelings. How does knowing that He understands your reluctance, your pain, or whatever you feel help you say, “Thy will be done,” and mean it?
This is hard – I believe He does understand but don’t know that I’ve ever submitted my will completely to Him or asked Him to help me specifically. Many times my mindset has been, “I’ll act and get confirmation as I go because Heavenly Father probably doesn’t worry too much about this decision.”
In this case though, with my addictions and what I need help with, I know He does care and is there willing to help IF and only IF I asked. Knowing that He does understand and feels my pain and frustration is comforting.
Well, this has been my first attempt at the new Plan! I know I can do this and have also committed to communicate consistently with my sponsor throughout the week.
Until tomorrow!
Nate
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