I’ve started this step a few times and am ready to really make it happen this time.
First off, I’m reading page 63 of the AA book.
Here are some highlights:
Selfishness – self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles.
So our troubles, we think, are basically of our own making. They arise out of ourselves, and the [pornography and lust] are an extreme example of self-will run riot, though he usually doesn’t think so. Above everything, we [addicts] must be rid of this selfishness…God makes that possible. And there often seems no way of entirely getting rid of self without His aid.
Established on such a footing we became less and less interested in ourselves, our little plans and designs. More and more we became interested in seeing what we could contribute to life. As we felt new power flow in, as we enjoyed peace of mind, as we discovered we could face life successfully, as we became conscious of His presence, we began to los our fear of today, tomorrow or the hereafter. We were reborn.
“God, I offer myself to Thee – to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of life. May I do Thy will always!”
We thought well before taking this step [Step 3] making sure we were ready; that we could at last abandon ourselves utterly to Him.
Our [addiction] was a symptom. So we had to get down to causes and conditions.
Resentment is the “number one” offender. It destroys more [addicts] than anything else. From it stem all forms of spiritual disease, for we have been not only mentally and physically ill, we have been spiritually sick.
In step 4, I show my willingness to trust God…making my inventory as complete as possible.
One way to do an inventory is to list memories of people; institutions or organizations; principles, ideas, or beliefs; and events, situations, or circumstances that trigger positive and negative feelings (including sadness, regret, andger, resentment, fear, bitterness).
As you do your inventory, look beyond your past behaviors and examine the thoughts, feelings, and beliefs that led to your behavior. Your thoughts, feelings and beliefs are actually the roots of your addictive behaviors…Your addiction is symptom of other “causes and conditions”.
I’m excited to start step 4 with a better understanding of step 3.