I wanted to write a little bit today about how I feel. This weekend has been quite eventful:
- Becky’s parents have been here since Monday
- We’ve eaten out a lot
- We’ve stayed up later than usual and watched way more TV
- Madi got baptized yesterday
- Tyson also got blessed yesterday
- We had a big get together after that to celebrate the day
- Caleb has been really sick like I was
- Jayden also puked yesterday and had bad diarrhea today
- My parents were here but left yesterday, my mom in a bit of a martyr fashion
And the list could go on and on.
But overall it’s been really special.
I’m so grateful that yesterday (and today) I was able to worthily baptize Madi and bless Tyson. I’m grateful that I was able to give Caleb a blessing with Dad Schmidt’s help. I’m grateful that my parents are helpful and seem to be happy. I’m grateful that the get together yesterday went so well.
I’m so grateful for the relationship I have with Becky. I love her so much. She is such a huge blessing in my life. I couldn’t ask for a more special wife, mother, and partner in this test of life. She’s so amazing with our kids. She’s so thoughtful and connected with God; and I love her more today than I ever thought I could love someone.
I love my children too.
I am working daily at being present, at not shaming them or blaming them, and at living in recovery today.
I had the chance today to bear my testimony. I feel the best part of the testimony was when I testified that the Atonement is real and that it’s not just for repenting. We can use the Atonement every day, every moment – for help with character weaknesses, imperfections, illness, and other trials. Christ is there for me if I’m humble enough to reach out to him and let him in.
As I looked up Jesus Christ in the Topical Guide at LDS.org, I found quite a few topics and scriptures I’d like to dig into more.
One that stood out, one that reminded me of President Uchtdorf’s talk, was about grace and justification in keeping the law. It is found in Galatians 2:16 and says:
16 Knowing that a man is not ajustified by the works of the blaw, but by the faith of Jesus Christ, even we have believed in Jesus Christ, that we might be justified by the cfaith of Christ, and not by the dworks of the elaw: for by the works of the law shall no flesh be fjustified.
Then, when I cross-referenced “law” I found this scripture in the Book of Mormon (Mosiah 13:27-31):
27 And now ye have said that salvation cometh by the law of Moses. I say unto you that it is expedient that ye should keep the law of Moses as yet; but I say unto you, that the time shall come when it shall no more be expedient to keep the law of Moses.
28 And moreover, I say unto you, that salvation doth not come by the law alone; and were it not for the atonement, which God himself shall make for the sins and iniquities of his people, that they must unavoidably perish, notwithstanding the law of Moses.
29 And now I say unto you that it was expedient that there should be a law given to the children of Israel, yea, even a very strict law; for they were a stiffnecked people, quick to do iniquity, and slow to remember the Lord their God;
30 Therefore there was a law given them, yea, a law of performances and of ordinances, a law which they were to observe strictly from day to day, to keep them in remembrance of God and their duty towards him.
31 But behold, I say unto you, that all these things were types of things to come.
To me, this really helps clarify what the “law” is. I know that some today think that living a “legalistic” life, one governed by laws and rules and to-do and not-to-do lists is not what living the Gospel is all about.
And that is so true.
Monitoring my “success” or “failure” by what I do – reading the scriptures, praying, going to church, fasting, paying tithing, getting baptized, doing my home teaching – all of these things can be focused on so much that I lose focus on WHY I am doing these things. And I was doing some of these things when I was in the heart of my addiction.
However, I am doing these things today because I love God and because I want to worship his Son, Jesus Christ. I want to fill myself with light and truth. I want to nurture my Spirit.
One other scripture that really stuck out to me was this one in Moroni 7:48:
48 Wherefore, my beloved brethren, apray unto the Father with all the energy of heart, that ye may be filled with this love, which he hath bestowed upon all who are true bfollowers of his Son, Jesus Christ; that ye may become the sons of God; that when he shall appear we shall cbe like him, for we shall see him as he is; that we may have this hope; that we may be dpurified even as he is pure. Amen.
This reminds me about what Becky and I have been talking about – the more I submit my will to Him, the more I look to Him, the more I put off the natural man, the more I’ll become like Him; and the more I love Him, and keep His commandments, the more I am showing Him that I’m willing to do His will, to follow Him.
And when He appears, I will be like Him and I will recognize Him, and I will want to be with Him because my garments will have been washed clean with His blood (using the Atonement each day of my life).
I’m grateful I made time to study today.
Hasta luego!
Nate
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