Today is a new day.
Today I’m willing to submit my will to God and trust that He will help me as I listen to and act on His promptings.
Today I feel good about where I am in my recovery.
I recently added a new sponsee. His name is Sean and I’ve been very impressed with his writing and commitment. Granted, it’s only been since Friday that we’ve worked together, but I’m excited to work with him and hopeful for his progress in recovery.
I’m also working with Spencer, who is also doing a great job.
One thing I’m learning about sponsorship is that it’s not my job or duty to keep them sober. The choice is up to them. All I can do is be there, hold them accountable, and share experiences that have helped me live in recovery.
Some of the experiences that I feel have really helped me live in recovery:
- Reading recovery books together my wife
- Love You, Hate the Porn
- What Can I Do About Me?
- Daring Greatly
- The White Book from SA
- Working with a specialized therapist
- My wife set boundaries based on what we’d read in the What Can I Do About Me book
- Creating a list of my “weapons of war” that I choose to bury
- No Social Media except with permission
- No browsing the internet
- No staying up to “work” on projects late at night
- Setting up Covenant Eyes on my computer
- Eliminating TV, especially TV alone
- Creating a nightly routine for AEIOU’s with my wife
- What did I do for me today?
- What did I do for others today?
- Unresolved Feelings (this one has been so helpful in my recovery process)
- Yay’s for today
- Reading one chapter from the Book of Mormon at night with my wife
- Making efforts to WRITE consistently in my journal and study topics that help me live in recovery one day at a time
- Going to at least one meeting a week for recovery (PASG on Thursdays, SA on Saturday morning, SA on Wednesday night, PASG on Monday afternoon)
- Working with a sponsor
- Working with sponsees
- Having my wife working on recovery as well (going to meetings, writing and sharing) has helped us be able to understand the addiction and be able to talk about feelings more openly
- Doing the ARPSupport.org program
- Looking at everyone from the “chin up”
- Praying for help with this concept in the moment of temptation and practicing it all the time
I’m sure there have been other things too, but this is the list that comes to mind.
Really, this is the “new normal.” These are things I plan to never stop doing. I’m sure Satan will try with all his might to get me to stop doing these things, but I feel doing these things shows Heavenly Father that I’m willing to do His will, that I’m willing to put everything else in my life aside and surrender to Him.
I feel these details are my way of “fortifying the weak areas” in my life. Captain Moroni did this in the Book of Mormon:
“If all men had been, and were, and ever would be, like unto Moroni, behold, the very powers of hell would have been shaken forever; yea, the devil would never have power over the hearts of the children of men” (Alma 48:17)
Moroni’s inspirationand foresight in fortifying the cities proved to be a turning point in the war. Thousands of Nephites were preserved because the cities were prepared. We can apply this lesson by fortifying our own lives with righteous thoughts and deeds in order to withstand evil attacks or “fiery darts of the adversary”
24 And I said unto them that [the rod of iron] was the aword of God; and whoso would hearken unto the word of God, and would bhold fast unto it, they would never perish; neither could the ctemptations and the fiery ddarts of the eadversary overpower them unto blindness, to lead them away to destruction.
As I read through these, it made me want to create a hand out to pass along at the PASG meeting. Maybe I could get permission from the Elders to do this, maybe even do it anonymously or something. I feel these are the types of things Becky and I have been doing to fight off Satan.
My weaker fortifications have been strengthened as I’ve buried my weapons of war (especially social media). With those weapons buried, the temptation to browse or “accidentally run into something suggestive” is hardly even there. Looking at others from the Chin Up is another thing that has been so helpful. My mind is much more clean today than it’s even been in the past and I’m so grateful for that.
I like some of the questions the lesson shares at the end:
What would you include in a list of the most important spiritual fortifications you need to be safe from the enemy who seeks your destruction?
I think I’ve included that list above. The main things I will continue to focus on are WRITING, emotional connection with Becky via AEIOUs and scripture study, and diligence in working the steps of recovery.
I’m grateful for this study today.
I’m so grateful for Becky. Yesterday she shared her journal entry with me, and it was very special. We’d gone to the temple on Friday night to do initiatories. She was nervous because of the pain and fear that she’s felt in the past as we went to the temple and I wasn’t worthy.
In response to her journal, I sent this email:
Wow! That was such a special journal entry. I am so grateful for the person you are and cannot believe how lucky I am to be married to you. I’m so grateful to be in recovery with you and to be living a “new normal” together.
I’m also grateful for the “one day at a time” concept: that’s all I can truly do, but today I’m 100% committed to living as close to God as I possibly can, today I’m 100% committed to our life together and to our eternal family; today I want to abhor sin and temptation and connect with God and you.
Thank you so much for being willing to go through all this trial and hardship with me. I’m so sorry I’ve caused all the trauma and heartache and pain. I’m sorry that I haven’t lived with integrity, and I’m sorry that my choices have left scars that will take a long time to heal.
But I am here today and I want to make things right. I love you more today than I ever thought I could love anyone. I love you deep in my heart and can’t imagine life without you and without our sweet little, well, big, family.
Thanks again for sharing your thoughts and feelings with me.
This is how I truly feel. I’m so lucky to have married Beck, that she is my best friend, and that we are fighting this fight together one day at a time.
I look forward to today and to our progress as we surrender to God and put our trust in Him.