Yesterday was not my best of best days. As I shared in an email on Saturday, things have seemed to be harder lately.
My wife and I had some good talks today and I feel recommitted.
A few set backs:
- I’ve been wasting time more on Facebook lately
- I was browsing Google Images and saw some images (one in particular) that weren’t appropriate
- I didn’t stay in those places or browse further, but feel I need to be honest with myself – just the fact that I was “browsing” was the mistake
- I watched a portion of a documentary last night that was censored but wasn’t appropriate either
- I haven’t been as diligent at the “chin up” approach lately
- I’ve felt the resentments directly but haven’t turned to God like I know I can
- I’ve seemed scared to move forward on Step 7, thinking that I can’t really turn over ALL my sins and character weaknesses (FEAR)
Things I’m grateful for:
- that I didn’t stay up later to watch the whole documentary
- that I didn’t “act out”
- that I didn’t continue to browse more images
- that today is a new day
- that I am writing about these issues and attempting to recognize the core issues
- that I feel one of the main issues has been resentment toward my wife – feeling that her attention has been elsewhere
- I got the ball rolling by being selfish and not attempting to understand her and talk things through
- I have also not been consistent with working the steps of the program like I want to. I’ve written in my journal, which helps, but scripture study and working the steps haven’t been consistent
- We had a great day today as a family: good talks, minimal losing of tempers, fun activities with cousins
- I read the Ensign article tonight about The Book of Mormon and want to make that part of my Sept. Goals
Hasta manana!
Nate
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