Day 30 – 11:52 p.m. – Well, it’s been a great 30 days. Many things have happened. One of the best is that I’m listening to the General Conference talks, which is enjoyable and another way to "feed" myself spiritually.
I’ve been listening to "O Remember, Remember " by President Eyring. It’s a great talk. Here are some of the excerpts:
When our children were very small, I started to write down a few things about what happened every day . Let me tell you how that got started. I came home late from a Church assignment. It was after dark. My father-in-law, who lived near us, surprised me as I walked toward the front door of my house. He was carrying a load of pipes over his shoulder, walking very fast and dressed in his work clothes. I knew that he had been building a system to pump water from a stream below us up to our property.
He smiled, spoke softly, and then rushed past me into the darkness to go on with his work. I took a few steps toward the house, thinking of what he was doing for us, and just as I got to the door, I heard in my mind—not in my own voice—these words: “I’m not giving you these experiences for yourself. Write them down. ”
I went inside. I didn’t go to bed. Although I was tired, I took out some paper and began to write . And as I did, I understood the message I had heard in my mind. I was supposed to record for my children to read, someday in the future, how I had seen the hand of God blessing our family . Grandpa didn’t have to do what he was doing for us. He could have had someone else do it or not have done it at all. But he was serving us, his family, in the way covenant disciples of Jesus Christ always do. I knew that was true. And so I wrote it down, so that my children could have the memory someday when they would need it .
I wrote down a few lines every day for years. I never missed a day no matter how tired I was or how early I would have to start the next day. Before I would write, I would ponder this question: “Have I seen the hand of God reaching out to touch us or our children or our family today? ” As I kept at it, something began to happen. As I would cast my mind over the day, I would see evidence of what God had done for one of us that I had not recognized in the busy moments of the day. As that happened, and it happened often, I realized that trying to remember had allowed God to show me what He had done .(bold added for emphasis)
What a great concept! I feel like this journal can be the same thing – that one day I can make this in to a book of remembrance, something I can give Caleb, Madi, and other children and even grandchildren. Something that can warn them of tough times, encourage them to press forward, and let them know that I too have problems that I have to work out between myself, Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ.
I talked to Greg (the facilator) today about working on step 4 either next week or during the week. I’ve started my moral inventory already but need someone to be accountable too. I feel Greg is the right person for now and can help me get it all finished up so I can take things to the Bishop and work on Step 5.
Today’s meeting was about an Ongoing Moral Inventory, doing a self-assessment every day of our lives to see how we’re doing. I feel it ties in perfectly with what Elder Eyring was saying – "Have I seen the hand of God reaching out to touch us or our children or our family today?" What have I done today to get better?
Here are things I recognize that were not as good as they could have been today:
- I started off doing well, assessing my day, writing things down, etc.
- I then got distracted from my plan by a request to book mark something, which led me to the Maxim page
- I saw it, thought to myself, "I shouldn’t go there…" left, but then came back again out of "selfishness" – looking to please my carnal self more than God
- After wasting my time browsing there for awhile, I then got away from it.
- I spent a lot of time today adding "clogging friends" on Facebook – my intent was to connect but it was a lot of idle time
- As people added me to their friends, I browsed pictures for a while, another waste of time and not a good direction to go (lust)
Now the good things:
- I listened to conference talks in my car.
- I downloaded more talks, including Jesus the Christ, to my iPod
- I went to the 12 Step Meeting and was edified there
- I shared my experiences throughout the week, including my challenges and what I’m doing to try to get closer to Christ
- I apologized to Becky after being mad at her for no apparent reason, other than the kids were whining (which I blamed on her)
- I played with the kids for quite a while
- I told Becky that I like having time with the kids and that she’s really good at what she does in aerobics
- I accomplished some good management things at work: answering tons of emails, talking to coaches, etc.
- I haven’t wasted time on the computer tonight
- I cam to bed with Becky
Well, this has been a long post. What will my 30 day challenge be next?
I’ll think and pray about it….