Today wasn’t a “bad” day.
I don’t feel it was my best day either.
Here’s why:
- I lost my temper and overreacted a bit with Caleb tonight
- After the kids went down, I “surfed” the TV and watched a few minutes of America’s Next Top Model – waste of time and not a good idea for me
- I wasn’t the most productive at work today, although I did get some things done
- Before I began surfing, I had the feeling that I should work on a question or write in my journal FIRST but I ignored it (my will vs. God’s will)
- I keep thinking I am not getting paid enough for all the work I do – this is my pride coming in I feel, although I continue to justify my reasoning
- I read the scriptures this morning, but I didn’t really apply them today
Anyway, I’m grateful for the program and the Atonement that is helping me recognize these weaknesses.
Here is a comment I made tonight on my start of Step 7 post:
Today I’m starting the review of the Step 7 questions. It’s interesting to read back at my thoughts at the time. I really do feel there is more I can do, primarily in submitting my will and earnestly praying for Heavenly Father’s help in overcoming my weaknesses.
I don’t feel I’ve spent earnest time in personal prayer. Yes, I’ve practiced the “I need your help” strategy over and over again, but making time to have a good conversation is something I feel I can do more consistently to show God my time is not more important than HIs.
I feel another “sacrifice” I can make to God is kneeling down to say my personal prayers, at least in the morning and at night. No, this isn’t a sacrifice necessarily, or shouldn’t be, but it’s something I’m not doing now that I feel could help.
I’m grateful to be staring the review process and look forward to getting back closer to the Spirit. Today, and other days throughout this step, I feel like I’ve been in the “yellow area” of the pendulum of addiction.
Another thing I feel like I can do to help get closer to the Lord is re-read the step I’m working on more frequently. I’ve got in the habit lately of just answering a question but not really reading the step. Like anything worthwhile, as I go back and re-read, different things will hit home and influence me for good.
Things I’m Thankful For
- That I have a job that pays me well
- That my job allows me to work on my businesses
- That I have good friends at work who I feel respect me and I respect them
- That I love my kids and recognize areas I can improve as a parent
- That I’m able to write out my feelings like this and review previous thoughts
- That I’m realizing more and more that God and His Son are there to help if and when I ask
- That Becky is doing such a great job in her calling
- That I was invited to one of my primary boy’s baptism
Hasta Luego!
Nate
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