Today has been a great day so far. We have worked in the garden as a family, cut up all the vegetables, and made tin foil dinners together with charcoal.
It was hard seeing Grandma Coffman today: she’s really weak, tired, and I’m pretty sure she has no idea who I am (although she seems to know who Caleb and Madi are pretty well).
Here are things I remember about Grandma Coffman:
- She has always been so supportive of me in sporting events
- She and Grandpa were diligent in going to the temple in many different places in the US
- She always seems happy when we were all together as a family
- She has always seemed to be very patient with us as kids
- She insisted that we sat up during family home evening to show respect
- She was really good at playing “Silver Bells” by ear on the piano
- When I talked to her on the phone when Grandpa was killed, she sounded like a young girl who was really sad and alone
- She must have been a great example to eventually get Grandpa to join the church
I love Grandma so much and hope that things can go according to the will of God: it’s hard on everyone involved, including Grandma, who says she feels like a burden on everyone.
Last night for my birthday Becky and Chloe and I went to The Pie in Salt Lake, which was really fun. It’s gotta be one of my favorite places to eat for the money.
As far as my review of Step 7, here are some of the questions I want to review today:
CONTENT NEEDS TO GO HERE!
This evening started out really fun. Dad and I went and picked up “take out” at Shan Hing restaurant. We came back to Grandma Coffman’s and celebrated my birthday. After dinner was over I took the kids in to the living room to put together a puzzle (they were being a bit difficult and wild, especially Caleb. Madi wasn’t obeying at all either). We started putting together the puzzle and Caleb immediately ripped the pieces out of Madi’s hands.
I’d had it with the little brat and picked him up and took him out to the car.
I just don’t know how to handle the kid when he acts like this. He “tested, tested, tested” all day long. Part of it, I feel, is because he didn’t have a nap. But the disobedience is something I can’t handle.
I’m not sure “what I did to get the ball rolling”, other than lose my patience and yell at him.
I’m really not sure how I can do things differently in the future, other than maybe not lose my temper and just calmly pick him up and take him out. The challenge is when he goes berserk and can’t control himself. I seem to drop to that level and get really frustrated with his actions.
Part of my problem may be “Fear” of being seen as a bad parent. I’m afraid that my parents or others look at Becky and me as not knowing how to handle or discipline our children effectively. I feel like, for the most part, we are doing what God would have us do. I feel Becky and I should pray more together as a couple to ask Heavenly Father what His will is regarding these particular situations.
Anyway, it wasn’t an easy day overall with the kids, although it was really fun to harvest some of the garden and make tin-foil dinners.
I’m really feeling at a loss for how to handle Caleb (and Madi) when they act like this…
One thing that came to mind just now as I’m reviewing the scriptures and questions of Step 7 is that, instead of telling Caleb things like, “I’m going to have to call the police if you keep acting like this…” I should do what I’d thought about doing before – just taking a step back and telling Caleb we need to say a little prayer together, that we need to ask Heavenly Father to help us both be better people and do what He would have us do, whatever that is. Not only will that really help me overcome my fear and frustration, but it will also teach Caleb that God is the only one we can really turn to for help in ALL things.
So, I went and acted on this urge to say a prayer with Caleb. I feel it went really well. I held his hand and then prayed that he would know that his Mom and me love him and want what’s best for him, that we never want to hurt him, and that we want him to do what Heavenly Father wants him to do. I prayed that he would forgive me and for patience. I prayed that he would know that the Savior is the only one that can really help us overcome these challenges in our lives. After the prayer was over, he thanked me for the prayer, we gave each other a hug and kiss, and he went to bed.
I know that this is the process I need to take every time something like this happens. Not only is it what I need, but it shows my kids that prayer and the Savior are the ONLY way we can be saved. The Police aren’t going to help the situation at all J.
I love my family. I love having the gospel in my life to help me understand how to handle these situations in the future. I love that we were able to come here to Idaho to be with family and to learn and progress. I’m grateful that I’ve been able to write in my journal while I’m here too and am grateful that Jason reminded/challenged me to do so.
I love my wife and am so grateful we can talk out things like this too.