Had a good meeting with Jason today. Talked about my resentments and how they relate directly to my lustful thinking.
We also talked about moving forward to Step 8, which I feel is necessary at this point.
So here we go…
One thing I’m grateful for is how I completed Step 4. This seems to make Step 8 quite a bit easier.
Before you make a list of people from whom you need to seek forgiveness, first list those people you need to forgive. People often get caught in terrible cycles of exchanging hurts with others. To break these cycles of mutual resentment, someone has to be willing to forgive.
Here is the key part of Step 4 that correlates almost 100% to Step 8:
Next to the names of the people we needed to forgive, we recorded the way we originally felt when the hurtful incidents happened and what we were still tempted to feel. The list helped us be specific in our prayers as we shared with the Father all our unresolved feelings. We pled for the grace of Christ to help us extend to others the same mercy He gives us. If we found people on our lists that we had an especially difficult time forgiving, we took the Savior’s counsel to pray for their welfare, asking all the blessings for them that we would want for ourselves (see Matthew 5:44).
When I did Step 4, it was easy to point out why I resented others. But where the real understanding seemed to come about why I eventually act out came when I ask the simple question, “What did I DO to get the ball rolling?”
I frequently found that really, the resentment stemmed from my pride, my comparing myself to others, my insecurities, following my will instead of looking to God for support and strength.
As we prayed for help to forgive others—even if it felt insincere at first—we were eventually blessed with a miraculous sense of compassion.
This is one thing I really want to do in regard to my relationship with Dane: he seems to be one of the big resentments I continue to have over and over again. I know it’s all about my pride though. It’s all about my way vs. his way, my knowledge vs. his knowledge, feeling he doesn’t respect me, etc. PRIDE, PRIDE, PRIDE!
…we have learned that by making a thorough inventory of our resentments and acknowledging them to the Savior, we finally ceased to be victims of those who hurt us. Once we honestly attempted to let go of offenses toward us, we found we were able to finish our lists of those we hoped would forgive us.
In step 8, you begin an amazing adventure in relating with a new heart to yourself, to others, and to life. You are ready to contribute peace to the world rather than add contention and negative feelings. You are willing to give up judging anyone unrighteously and to stop taking inventory of others’ lives and faults.
Here’s a challenge I’ll set for myself in October:
In preparation for making amends, many of us have found the following exercise helpful. Think of someone for whom you have had hard feelings. For two weeks, deliberately kneel and pray for him or her each day. Keep a record of changes in your thoughts and feelings about that person. (See Matthew 22:37–38; 1 Corinthians 13; 1 John 4:19; Moroni 7:44–48.)
The First Question in Step 8
Peaceable followers of Christ
“I would speak unto you that are of the church, that are the peaceable followers of Christ, and that have obtained a sufficient hope by which ye can enter into the rest of the Lord, from this time henceforth until ye shall rest with him in heaven.
“And now my brethren, I judge these things of you because of your peaceable walk with the children of men” (Moroni 7:3–4).
In the first seven steps, you began a process of becoming a peaceable follower of Christ. When you are at peace with the Lord, you are better prepared to be at peace with others. What other steps do you need to take to be at peace with the people in your life?
I feel like I’m taking the appropriate steps. It’s so interesting to feel a direct correlation with doing my OWN will instead of God’s, my resentments towards others, and my addictions. When I am consistently striving to do God’s will, to pray sincerely, and to put off the “natural man”, I am more patient and compassionate with Becky, my kids, Dane, and everyone I come in contact with.
One of the main steps I feel I can take that will help me even more is consistent personal prayer, both morning and night. I have had ebbs and flows with prayer and feel it’s one of the most important ways to show my submissiveness to God and my willingness to develop my relationship with Him.
Another step I feel I can take is to avoid negativity at work. If I’m tempted to talk negatively about someone else, I need to follow the 5 to 1 ratio – 5 positives for every 1 negative comment. Following the “Serenity Prayer” is an answer I’ve received before that I need to remind myself of over and over again when it comes to work.
Write about the wisdom of taking the steps in order.
Wow, it’s so interesting to me how each step teaches, instructs, and prepares me for the next step. I’ve obviously been on Step 7 for quite some time (and will continue to work on humility on an ongoing basis), but if I hadn’t done each step thoroughly or at least to the best of my ability, the next step wouldn’t make as much sense and I wouldn’t be prepared to make the necessary changes.
I feel the progress I’ve made with God’s help on each step has definitely prepared me for the next step.
I’m excited to work on Step 8 and overcome the resentments I feel for others.
Things I’m Grateful For:
- That I have a detailed to-do list today and that this study was the 1st thing on the list
- That I have started Step 8
- That I got to meet with Jason this morning
- That I want to really make amends with Dane and be on the right foot
- That I have business opportunities
- That I recognize the need for continual improvement and am trying every day to better submit my will to God
- That I have a good relationship with the people I manage at work and can talk openly with them about problems and concerns