I had a good talk, short, but good, last night with Becky about the temptations I’ve been going through lately.
It’s nice to know I can trust her to not overreact or take it too personally.
I told her about my discoveries about how directly related my pride is to my addiction to lust, pornography, etc. The more resentments I have towards Dane, Becky, my kids, work, etc., the more prone I am to ignore God’s will and do whatever I want, which is generally not good…
Becky and I also talked about a scripture she found as an answer to a question that had come up in her YW Presidency meeting. She sent me this email today – this was how she shared her answer with her presidency:
I just wanted to share with you all an answer that came last night as I was studying my scriptures. Our discussion on Sunday has been on my mind all week and I’ve done a lot of reading. Last night, I was studying about sin, and found the following passage from Alma 42:
27 Therefore, O my son, awhosoever will come may come and partake of the waters of life freely; and whosoever will not come the same is not compelled to come; but in the last day it shall be brestored unto him according to his cdeeds.
28 If he has desired to do aevil, and has not repented in his days, behold, evil shall be done unto him, according to the restoration of God.
29 And now, my son, I desire that ye should let these things atrouble you no more, and only let your sins trouble you, with that trouble which shall bring you down unto repentance.
30 O my son, I desire that ye should deny the ajustice of God no more. Do not endeavor to excuse yourself in the least point because of your sins, by denying the justice of God; but do you let the justice of God, and his bmercy, and his long-suffering have full sway in your heart; and let it bring you down to the dust in chumility.
As I read this familiar passage, verse 29 came across to me differently than it ever has before: where normally I read the verse with the emphasis on the word “sins”, this time the verse read with the emphasis on the word “your”. It was really interesting to read these verses with changed emphasis. It also was such an answer in that in these verses Alma is teaching his sons, so the verses read as an answer to a question. We could easily change verse 27 to read, “Therefore, O my daughter, whosoever…” The Lord really is speaking to our girls through the Book of Mormon. What an amazing opportunity we have to open the scriptures and show them that the words of ancient prophets really do apply to them and speak directly to them today about problems as seemingly eternally insignificant as a school dance. We need to show them where to find their answers, and it is in the scriptures and through personal prayer.
I truly do appreciate the conversation we had on Sunday. I believe that respectful disagreements are a sign that we have a fully functioning presidency. We all have different perspectives and I believe that as we share our unique viewpoints we all come closer to the Lord’s viewpoint. Thank you for trusting me enough to disagree with me! As President Faust once taught about a healthy marriage, if we all agreed all of the time it would mean either one of us was dominating the others or we were all “strangers to the truth”. I love each one of you and appreciate the load you each carry to serve in this calling. Thank you for all you do and who you are!
I was really excited for Becky to find this answer and how she handled things.
The Lord’s perfect love
“There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.
“We love [God], because he first loved us” (1 John 4:18–19).
The idea of making amends can be frightening if you focus on doing it perfectly. How can your trust in the Lord’s perfect love for you and for the person from whom you seek forgiveness strengthen your resolve to make restitution wherever possible?
I know that as I trust in the Lord, all things will work together for my good. They may not be easy at all, but in the end things will be fine.
I felt some of that trust today: I had my one on one meeting with Dane, which in the past, has not always been a pleasant experience. However, today it went really well. Not only did our one on one meeting go well, but we also were able to have a very productive meeting about MC and the steps that need to be taken based on some recent behavior.
It wasn’t an easy conversation at all, but fortunately I was able to keep my composure, didn’t get too upset, and things ended up working out even better than I expected.
Dane is definitely one of the people I need to make amends with and it is frightening; I feel as I put my complete trust in God and the Savior, I will be better off and true restitution will take place.
Things I’m Grateful For:
- That MC isn’t getting fired
- That we were able to come to a reasonable consequence
- That Dane and I had what I felt to be very productive conversations
- That I recognize the trend: Pride > Resentment > Lust > Pornography > Etc. Etc.
- That I was able to go to the meeting tonight and feel the Spirit strongly there
- That I was able to talk with Becky about my struggles
- That tomorrow is going to be a great day!