AtonementToday.com

How have you used the Atonement Today?

  • Menu
    • About
    • Contact Us
    • Blog
    • Daily Accountability – Morning
    • Daily Accountability – Evening
    • The Practice of Identifying Feelings
Home » Most of us feel fear and an unwillingness to take step 5. How can confessing your sins to God give you courage and strength eventually to confess to another person?

Most of us feel fear and an unwillingness to take step 5. How can confessing your sins to God give you courage and strength eventually to confess to another person?

By Raul

I believe this question is aimed at those of us who fear meeting someone to share our inventory with. I must say confessing was terrifying for me. I believe I’ve come a long way.

When I attended my first meeting I was determined to “pass.” As people went around telling their stories and their struggles, I realized these people were like me, addicted to pornography. Likewise, I realized they were not afraid to share their weakness. I felt secure; I felt they wouldn’t judge me. I confessed my sins to them. It was so relieving. It was liberating! The next day and the following day I felt so free. Honesty, coming out of the shadows really helps!

The next step was to confess to my wife. I could not have done it without God. I mean that literally. God inspired my wife to read my journal–where I had written about my addiction and recently started recovery. It was hard, but liberating.

I confessed to priesthood leaders, but because of my pride–my desire to keep an image people had of me alive–I minimized things. I made it seem like my addiction was a habit and that I was just “confessing to complete the cycle of repentance.” I gave them the impression that “everything is under control now, and I haven’t had a relapse in weeks.” I truly mixed truths with lies. Last Tuesday I met with my bishop and finally confessed the truth: Things as they really are (Jacob 4:13) Again, I felt freedom. I felt understood. I felt the shame that accompanies this addiction–perhaps fostered by our Mormon culture of perfectionism and apparent righteousness–was melting down.

I try to live in honesty and always be quick to confess my lapses. It is hard; it brings tears; but it is needed. It helps when I know it is the will of God and that in the long run it will be for the better. It helps me when I strip myself from pride, from thinking I need to maintain a certain image with the people around me (including bishops, sponsor, 12-step-group friends, and wife). I rather live in truth than in lies. I refuse to have a double life.

One last word about confessing. I do not believe in confessing my sins and shortcomings to everyone. I do not confess my sins to people that don’t need to know them. I mingle with friends and relatives. I don’t tell them I am a pornography addict. I may say I am familiar with the 12-step program because of past bad choices, but I need not to go into detail with some people. I trust that God and his Spirit will guide me to truly know the difference between those who need to know and those who don’t.

Filed Under: Step 5 Confession

Recent Comments

  • Dick Rucker on Discussion: How to help a struggling sponsee?
  • Ari on Discussion: Does One Really Need to Hit Rock Bottom to Recover?
  • DeWayne on Discussion: How to help a struggling sponsee?
  • What Does Effective Sponsorship Really Look Like? – SA Lifeline on 53 Must’s to Live in Real Recovery from Addiction
  • Nate on Discussion: Is Caffeine a Coping Mechanism for Sexual Addiction?
October 2010
S M T W T F S
 12
3456789
10111213141516
17181920212223
24252627282930
31  
« Sep   Nov »

Sobriety Date: 2/7/14

  • Days in Recovery:
    4116 days ago

Copyright © 2025 AtonementToday.com · Disclaimer · Log in