Today was another productive day, although I didn’t make a bunch of money yet 🙂
Things That Got Done Today
- We got our desk sold on Craigslist.
- Met with Cheryl about book keeping (she may be done passing it on to us in January)
- Adam helped me deliver the desk to the buyers in Provo
- Went to the temple seeking answer about how I should handle the WM issue that’s been bugging me
- Contacted Jason C. about WM issue (my first real ‘making amends’ and probably one of the ones I was most afraid of)
- Mailed football pics
- Deposited checks for HS
- Went to my meeting with the group
- Cleaned up the office – pretty close to done 🙂
- Contacted Provo AST
- Followed up with Mike from AD (looks like they are going to sign the deal)
I feel it was a pretty good day overall.
At our group tonight we talked about Step 3, which I think is a KEY step towards recovery: without the understanding and willingness to put my trust in God, the rest of the steps would be extremely difficult to really accomplish.
I think about today’s experience with calling Jason C. – there’s NO WAY I would have done that without a bit of trust in God. It says in step 9: “Willing restitution is concrete evidence to the Lord that you are committed to do all you can to repent…”
I say there is NO WAY I would be willing to speak with people that I’ve offended or that have offended me if I didn’t believe Heavenly Father and His Son would support me in my efforts.
I was reminded again today of the song, “Let Us All Press On” – “If we do what’s right, we have no need to fear, for the Lord our helper will always be near…” Those lyrics came to me as I was thinking and pondering in the temple and they assured me that my talk with Jason could only be helpful to all involved (and I feel it was).
Step 9 Question
How has becoming closer to the Savior through recovery helped you feel reunited with His Church?
One of the best things about recovery is I feel I’m really trying every day to improve. Today was a good day, but I recognized room for improvement:
- I looked at a girl who was running that had on pretty short shorts (lust)
- I surfed through the channels on the TV this evening – didn’t see anything but just the fact that I was surfing while being home alone is a danger zone.
- Looking out the window yesterday evening and seeing my neighbors – there was nothing going on but I just felt bad afterward for even looking out the window – what did I expect or hope to see?
Little details like these are good to recognize I feel and I don’t think I would even think twice about them if I wasn’t going through the steps of recovery and trying to get to know my Savior more closely.
I feel the Church is an important tool to remind us of the important covenants we make. But I feel a common problem we all fall in to is that we are church attending, maybe even have testimonies, but we’re not truly “converted”. What I feel being truly converted means is that we know how to use the Atonement and we use it every day, every hour, every moment of our lives.
This is why I feel this 12 Step Program needs to be for EVERY MEMBER of the CHURCH!
- I’m grateful to go see Caleb and Madi tomorrow.
- I’m grateful I got to talk with Becky today.
- I’m grateful I haven’t relapsed while my family has been away.
- I’m grateful that, for the most part, I’ve been pretty organized and productive.
- I’m grateful for the Atonement that allows me to repent and come closer to the Lord.
- I’m grateful for the Temple and the insights I got there today.
- I’m grateful that I made the time in the morning to got.
Hasta manana!
Nate
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