Today has been such a great Monday! Becky and I had a very effective meeting where we talked about monthly goals, where I’m at so far for the month, and projections and projects. It’s very comforting to have her support and to get her feedback: she’s so good at organization and planning things out, which is sometimes what I lack.
I’ve now been officially self-employed now for 1 week and have LOVED it so far. Not because of the freedom, not because I can do what I want when I want, but mostly because all the ideas and plans and dreams I’ve had with the stuff I’ve been “dabbling” with for so long is now starting to come to fruition.
I love the quote by Lou Holtz:
If you’re bored with life – you don’t get up every morning with a burning desire to do things – you don’t have enough goals.
I feel that more now than ever before.
I also feel that if I don’t get to bed early, my day is definitely not as effective, not only in terms of being tired, but also my thought process (or lack thereof), my drive to want to talk with people and connect, and my intuition to make new contacts and step out of my comfort zone.
As I write this, it makes me think of the Plan of Happiness. Heavenly Father obviously is a very organized and planned out person.
He has goals, objectives and a map of how things should go. He’s prepared for pit falls and error but has “work arounds” for every error that has or may occur. He’s a great delegator. He knows what he wants and knows how to get the best out of the people he works with.
I’m grateful for the decisions Becky and I made concerning my employment.
I’m grateful to go to the temple to get answers to life’s questions.
I’m grateful that my dad gave me a meaningful blessing before I left yesterday.
I’m grateful I got to talk with Sandee and that the Church and it’s teachings came up, including Addiction and the AA program and book. (I think I’ll send a copy of the AA Book to Zack.)
I’m grateful for that I was able to bear my testimony, in a way, to Sandee about addiction, about our beliefs and about how there is a way back.
I’m grateful to be studying tonight.
Step 9 Question
“You must restore as far as possible all that which is stolen, damaged, or defiled. Willing restitution is concrete evidence to the Lord that you are committed to do all you can to repent” (Richard G. Scott, in Conference Report, Apr. 1995, 102; or Ensign, May 1995, 76).
Write about how taking step 9 is evidence not only to the Lord but also to yourself and others that you are committed to a life of humility and honesty.
This quote and question are perfect for what I’ve been thinking about with the WM issue that had been bugging me. I’m really glad I contacted JC and showed my willingness to restore all that was damaged as far as possible.
I feel making amends is such a combination of Step 1, Step 3, Step 4 and Step 5, and, as I think about it, Steps 7 and 8 too – go figure. All the steps build on one another. I’m excited to finish the first full round of them and then go back through the process again. I’m sure it will be just like reading the scriptures – new things will jump out that I never even noticed before and the things I did notice before will have a different meaning.
Humility and Honesty are key points of doctrine in the addiction recovery process. Without honesty, especially with myself and then with others, nothing else will really come together. If I don’t admit to myself and to others that my life has become unmanageable and I need to rely on a higher power, I’ll never get over my addiction.
Step 6 & 7 took me a long time because they are about humility, which, to me, is a really tough concept to understand.
I’m anxious and yet excited to begin the process of making amends. I feel like I’ve taken a few steps in that process already and feel that answering these questions as thoroughly as I can is helping me really see things from a different perspective.
I feel writing things out is so beneficial. I feel it causes me to really look at my self and assess why I’m really doing things and how I’m doing them.
I look forward to meeting with Jason tomorrow!
p.s. Saturday night I feel I did MY will instead of the Lord’s: I stayed up really late watching TV and “surfing”. Luckily I didn’t see anything, but just the intent was not right and I felt wrong for staying up so late.
I’m grateful that things worked out the way they did, but I felt first hand how easy it can be to slip back in to tendencies I had when I was in that situation as a younger person. I realized that certain PLACES can cause me to fall back in to tendencies. Those are places I need to avoid or go to “strategically” with a plan on how I’m going to combat the urges.