3898 days ago
But last night cleared things up a lot and overall I’d say the day ended on a positive note.
B and I talked last night after the tough letter she’d written me. I was pretty shaken by it – felt really sad, felt really misunderstood, and felt little hope.
However, she asked if we could talk last night before we went to bed. She shared how she wasn’t sure if what she’d written was motivated by the Spirit, by Satan, or possibly by hormones from being “with child”. She shared how she feels so confused: she’ll read one thing in one book on how to handle the situation, then something totally different in another book.
She hasn’t felt like Heavenly Father has been communicating with her much lately either, which causes her to feel like He’s disappointed in how she’s handling things.
I tried to listen, to empathize, and to provide support.
One thing she said that made me feel a bit better was that she knows I’m trying. She also mentioned some specific things I said that made her feel triggered – the “I don’t care about everyone else’s lack of connection…” comment I made scared her because it reminded her of comments I’ve made about not caring about how much or little others have sex.
I can definitely see where she’s coming from. I explained my perspective, especially after just reading the section of the book “What Can I Do About Him Me” where it talks about rowing your own boat. I have been thinking about if there are anythings that have caused me to need so much attention or connection.
I explained that I just feel like my recovery is mine and that I’m trying to figure out what Heavenly Father wants for me.
She told me maybe the reason she’s not getting answers as much is because I’m starting to get my communication with God and He wants me to share the answers I’m getting with her. This made me feel good.
Today has been pretty good. It has been a bit challenging because the kids have been crazy tired after a fun movie night at the Webster’s that ended late.
I’ve been trying to handle things with patience and love, but I feel myself getting angry and upset over dumb little things. I feel I need to be in “control” and make people do what I want them to do (my kids that is).
I’m glad I’ve been able to make a bit of time right now while B is resting to write out my thoughts.
I feel better just writing.
On a different note, I’ve been thinking a lot lately about how I can grow the business to make it less stressful on all of us.
A few things came to mind:
- Work on SGU.com – find some products I can sell on that site that have bigger net value and will allow me to get back into the eCommerce industry a bit. Ideally making custom sales would be cool.
- Make a list of things I’d like to learn or specialize in and then do the research on those things – dedicate a specific amount of time each day to study and implement what I’m learning
- PPC
- Conversion Marketing
- Landing Page Optimization
- Membership Sites
- Construction Business Website Design
- Dentist Website Design
- Create a sales manual and hire my first sales rep for MM
I’m grateful for all Heavenly Father has blessed me with.
I hope to continue submitting my will to Him and acknowledging His hand in all things.
I will continue to submit today and pray for help to know how to be most patient and loving with the kids.
Hasta manana!
Nate
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