The Worst Feeling of My Life

I just walked home from Church.

I just left Sunday School in the middle of the meeting. The meeting was about David cheating on his wife. B has been having a hard time yesterday and today and I was uneasy anyway.

She made a couple comments, but I was nervous she was going to say something in front of everyone about my sins.

Instead, she moved a chair away from me and then started whispering things like:

I hate you.

I want you out of my life.

I can’t recover with you in my life.

You’re just like David, except he wasn’t married.

You chose porn and that…

I hate you.

I asked her if she wanted me to leave. Before matters got worse I got up and left the room.

I’m nervous what else was shared in the meeting and if she revealed our story to the ward.

I’m not even sure what to do. I texted the Bishop the following:

Hi Bishop. Things are not good at all right now with Becky and me. I don’t know what to do.

I haven’t heard back from him yet.

I don’t know if I should pack things and leave or if I should stay and try to talk things through, or if I should go back to church.

I feel so sick.

I feel so much regret and remorse.

I want to make things right. I don’t know if I even can. I know I can’t on my own.

So, that’s how I’m feeling right now.

I honestly don’t know what to do and feel so lost and unforgivable.

I hope this isn’t the end of my life with my family…