Yesterday was a tough day.
Not because I gave in to my addictive tendencies at all. Not because I had a slip or anything like that.
Buy my emotions were crazy.
I felt stressed about finances and making sales.
I felt frustrated with all the work a client added to my plate.
I felt angry at another client who I didn’t feel was being reasonable.
Then the kids came home and that seemed to add to the chaos.
I feel alone in my work – like all the pressure is on me to do all these different things, some of which I don’t really know how to do.
I feel stressed about growing my business and meeting expectations I have on myself – some of which may or may not be unrealistic.
I feel a bit frustrated with the FS partnership and how that’s all going.
I feel overwhelmed with so much to do.
Then I get rearended last night on the way to the BYU game by Caleb’s baseball coach, who was following us.
It just all seems to be coming down on me at the same time.
So that’s how I felt yesterday. Today is a new day. I’m taking things one day at a time. I’m chipping away at my to do list today. I’m trying to make scripture study and journaling and prayer the top priorities on my list.
One good thing that happened last night is that Beck could tell I was having a tough day; she mentioned that she could tell I was a bit on edge. Her mentioning this helped me take a step back and say a prayer asking for help. I said one as we were walking to our seats at the BYU game and almost immediately I felt a calm and peace. Just submitting my will to Him is the answer I needed.
I feel I can submit my will to Him more in relation to things temporal too. I just googled “pray for things temporal and spiritual” and found this article from LDS.org titled “Becoming Provident Providers Temporally and Spiritually“.
Here are some of the details that stick out to me:
Today I speak to all whose freedom to choose has been diminished by the effects of ill-advised choices of the past. I speak specifically of choices that have led to excessive debt and addictions to food, drugs, pornography, and other patterns of thought and action that diminish one’s sense of self-worth.
Wow, this is an article written specifically for me…
All of these excesses affect us individually and undermine our family relationships.
And for both debt and addiction, the hopeful solution is the same—we must turn to the Lord and follow His commandments. We must want more than anything else to change our lives so that we can break the cycle of debt and our uncontrolled wants.
Our challenges, including those we create by our own decisions, are part of our test in mortality. Let me assure you that your situation is not beyond the reach of our Savior. Through Him, every struggle can be for our experience and our good (see D&C 122:7). Each temptation we overcome is to strengthen us, not destroy us. The Lord will never allow us to suffer beyond what we can endure (see 1 Corinthians 10:13).
I really like this last comment. Even the challenges I’ve created by my own decisions can be for my experience and growth. Granted, I don’t EVER want to go through the things I’ve gone through recently, but I am grateful I’m learning more directly how to turn my will and life over to my Heavenly Father.
We must remember that the adversary knows us extremely well. He knows where, when, and how to tempt us. If we are obedient to the promptings of the Holy Ghost, we can learn to recognize the adversary’s enticements.
This is so true. Yesterday was one of those days when the adversary knew I was vulnerable. He came at me, through my emotions, and threw fiery darts at me. But I did not succumb. I didn’t start just browsing around online. I didn’t let down my guard at the game, but instead I prayed more and ask for help and deliverance.
Our success is never measured by how strongly we are tempted but by how faithfully we respond. We must ask for help from our Heavenly Father and seek strength through the Atonement of His Son, Jesus Christ.
This is the answer I felt yesterday. I asked for help and He helped me. Becky was so sweet to calmly recognize what I was going through. She didn’t add more pressure, but was just there to hold my hand and help me calm down. Although I don’t ever want her to feel that I rely on that, I am so appreciative that she was there and how she handled everything.
In both temporal and spiritual things, obtaining this divine assistance enables us to become provident providers for ourselves and others.
What is “this divine assistance”? It’s asking for help from our Heavenly Father and seeking strength through the Atonement of His Son, Jesus Christ.
In seeking to overcome debt and addictive behaviors, we should remember that addiction is the craving of the natural man, and it can never be satisfied. It is an insatiable appetite.
…as children of God, our deepest hunger and what we should be seeking is what the Lord alone can provide—His love, His sense of worth, His security, His confidence, His hope in the future, and assurance of His love, which brings us eternal joy.
Only through our Lord’s Atonement can we obtain a mighty change of heart (see Mosiah 5:2; Alma 5:14) and experience a mighty change in our addictive behavior.
What a perfect talk for where I’m at right now.
What an inspired lesson on providing both temporally and spiritually.
I’m reading a book Beck recommended that talks about “scarcity” – that the world’s culture is “Never enough __________” Time, money, attention, sex, work, income, whatever… This is not living providently; this is coveting. This is worshiping false gods. This is putting worldly things before spiritual things.
I want to have pure desires. I want to put God first in my life. I want to be grateful for all that I have.
I don’t want to always be unhappy with the “Never enough” mentality. Granted, I want to grow my business and provide for my family, thus alleviating some of the stress. But I also want to live within my means and be wise in spending so that we can pay our necessary bills and be happy.
Today is already a great day and I’m happy I made this time to study and write.
Hasta manana!
Nate
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