I Want to Submit My Will Today

Today is a new day.

Today is the day I will submit my will to Him.

I think I’m feeling a bit vulnerable, partly because I haven’t been writing consistently this week. Writing has such a great influence on my recovery, on my surrender, and on my submission to God’s will for me.

I haven’t really been tempted to fall back into addiction, but I have noticed that I haven’t been as submissive in constant prayer. I haven’t been reading the scriptures personally as much as I want to. And, like I said, the WRITING is so essential and I haven’t been doing that either.

The past is behind me and today is a new day though.

I thought it was interesting that there were two articles on the home page of LDS.org that caught my attention:

• Be a Lighthouse for Others – Shine Positive Light on Marriage
• Children and Pornography – Facts and Actions for Parents

As I read through both articles, a few thoughts came to mind:

1. Marriage is such a key component in God’s Plan of Happiness – it is part of “His work and His glory, to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man”.
2. Satan and his army are targeting people so directly with immorality, addiction, pornography, and other inappropriate methods that will tear apart the family.

What am I going to do to battle this army and follow God’s plan?

I’m working in the InnerGold manual right now and have come to the point of doing a written moral inventory. It’s understandable that, in the manual, it states that Satan will do whatever he can to distract or talk me out of doing this activity: writing my thoughts, feelings, emotions, and past experiences out on paper is a powerful tool to assist the frontal brain in working through addictive tendencies.

I’m grateful for this knowledge. I’m grateful for the chance I have to submit my will to Him through writing things out. I’ve decided that I will write out my inventory from when I last ended the program and decided I was going to do things “on my own” – that I was “recovered” and didn’t really need to meet with a sponsor, I didn’t really have the time to go to the meetings all the time, I was going to be ok…

These statements are EXACTLY what the adversary wants to hear. They are an invitation for him to whip out the fiery darts and start taking shots from a variety of different angles.

So, what AM I going to do to battle his army? I know I can’t fight it alone. I know my will will never be enough to fight it.

SUBMISSION is the only answer.

I have to submit my will to God’s. I have to put Him first in my life.

I think I’ve done this before, but I’m going to try it again, just for tomorrow at least (living my life one day at a time).

My Perfect Day Schedule

• Starts by being in bed by 10:00 p.m. the night before
• Read and/or write down goals for the following day
• Read Book of Mormon with Becky
• Do AEIOUY’s together
• Say our couple prayer together
• Lights out by 11:00 p.m.
• Wake up at 5:30 a.m.
• Say a personal prayer out loud
• Study my scriptures and write in my journal – work on recovery
• Say a personal prayer again thanking Him for the direction He’s given me in my study
• Go to basketball at 6:15 a.m.
• Play hard until 7:30 a.m.
• Come home and shower, shave, get ready for day
• Eat breakfast with the kids
• Watch Mormon Messages together
• Get the kids off to school
• Review my goals from the night before
• Prioritize goals and make a Goal For It checklist
• Review emails
• Follow up with designers & developers on project status
• Make 5 sales calls or call follow ups
• Create 2 proposals
• Do 3 action items to finalize existing projects

I’d like to follow this set routine for sure each Monday, Wednesday and Friday. I’ll start tonight and tomorrow to implement it.

Here are a few quotes I liked as I’m searching for His will for me:

“Our knowledge of the gospel and our love of our Heavenly Father and of our Savior will comfort and sustain us and bring joy to our hearts as we walk uprightly and keep the commandments. There will be nothing in this world that can defeat us.” (Thomas S. Monson, “Be of Good Cheer,” Ensign, May 2009, 92.)

I read the October 2014 First Presidency message by President Eyring titled “The Prayer of Faith” and really liked this suggestion in the Youth section:

Taking the time to prepare for our prayers can make that two-way communication possible. You could use your journal to spend a few minutes preparing to pray each day. You could make lists of blessings you want to thank Heavenly Father for, people who need your prayers, and questions you may need answered. Then invite the Spirit by singing a hymn or reading a few verses of scripture. As you pray, pay attention to how the Holy Ghost guides what you should say, and pay attention to your feelings and thoughts (see D&C 8:2–3). Consider recording your experiences in your journal and reviewing answers you receive.

Using my journal as a way to write out questions.

Using my journal to list out blessings I need to be thankful for.

Using my journal to list people I need to pray for and why.

Using my journal to write out ideas that come to me, either as I pray or after I’ve prayed. I can pay attention to my feelings and thoughts.

Using my journal to review the answers I receive.

I feel good about the things I’ve thought about and wrote out tonight.

I feel good about how the day went overall, although I could see and feel that Becky wasn’t having the best day.

I want to truly implement my “Perfect Day Play”.

I want to be consistent and start tonight and tomorrow with dedication and commitment.

I’m grateful for the love and direction I feel from my Heavenly Father as I write these thoughts and feelings and ideas out on “paper”.

Tonight and tomorrow are going to be a great start to something that will influence my life for good.

Hasta manana!

Nate