Today has been a tough day – a try on my patience: I tried to upgrade my computer last night to the new operating system and, like the last time I tried to do this, my computer froze. When I came home from BNI, I tried to get it all fixed so I could work, but I had to reboot the entire system and load it from a previous back up.
I feel at a time like this, in the past, I would have got on the other computer, browsed around, and ultimately relapsed because of a “poor me” mentality.
I feel like I would have justified it.
I feel like I would have been angry at everyone then due to self-shame – knowing that first, I wasted my whole day doing nothing productive, and second, I gave into the natural man and looked at inappropriate things.
The good news is, this didn’t happen. Instead, I recognized how I was feeling and decided to go into my room with the Inner Gold manual and read/rest.
I read for a little bit and then took a nap for the next two hours. When I came back, my computer was working (possibly a tender mercy). When I came back, I felt so much better. I don’t think I realized until now how this was the form of an A (Abstinence) and a surrender.
Now I’m here!
Now I’m looking at a new program the Church has created to help teach our children about the dangers of pornography.
The lessons are broken up into four categories:
- My Body is From God
- The Spirit Can Help Me Choose Good Media
- What Should I Do If I See Pornography
- The Savior Desires to Forgive and Heal the Wounds of Pornography
It’s interesting to read through the first section. One of the scriptures that is highlighted Genesis 1:27:
So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.
One of the questions that came to mind when I read this was “How do other religions that don’t believe God is an actual person interpret this scripture?”
Pornography is any material that depicts or describes the human body or sexual conduct in a way that arouses or is intended to arouse sexual feelings inappropriately. It is distributed through many media, including magazines, books, television, movies, music, and the Internet.
I think that’s a great definition: it’s straight forward, fully encompassing, and helpful. I think one justification I would tell myself during my acting out in my addiction was something like “well, that wasn’t really ‘pornography’ because the person wasn’t naked.” However, “pornography is any material that depicts or describes the human body or sexual conduct in a way that arouses or is intended to arouse sexual feelings inappropriately.”
I feel this is a common misconception about what pornography is/isn’t. Pornography can be found in music by how it makes us think or feel. Pornography is found in books even if we don’t “see” anything. Pornography is all over public TV in the form of advertisements, risque dress, and the topics being presented.
I like this statement too:
We must prepare ourselves so that when we do encounter such materials, we can respond in ways that will preserve our spiritual well-being and ensure protection from further involvement.
I especially like the “when we do” section. We have to be honest with the kids and let them know they WILL be faced with pornography in its different forms. The main trial for them will be how they choose to respond to it. Hopefully we can teach them to “respond in ways that will preserve their spiritual well-being and ensure protection from further involvement.”
I like this scripture about our bodies:
I like this one too:
34 And when aseparated, man cannot receive a fulness of joy.
I’m grateful for the time I’ve taken this afternoon to study.
I’m grateful the Church has presented this material.
I’m grateful to be working with Gordon.
I’m grateful to be working on recovery with Becky too.
I have hope that, through submission, I can continue in recovery.
I know that I can’t do it without submitting my will to God.