Submitting my will to God – what does that even mean?
Today and yesterday have been harder for some reason. I don’t know for sure what it is but I think this has something to do with it:
- I just signed a big deal with the U and am nervous about it – am I able to do it, do I have the time, will I make the necessary time, will I meet and exceed their expectations? These are all internal questions that I’m willing to admit.
- I have a lot of deals that have been lingering for quite a while. They are deals I want to finalize and get live so I quit worrying about them, but the clients don’t seem to be in a big rush. This is stressful and feels overwhelming.
- I’m trying to get my PPC account set up for MM. Not only is there a cost there, but I don’t know how it’s going to work, if it’s going to work, and what I should expect. This doesn’t stress me as much as the above things, but it’s there.
- Becky is really busy and focused on getting things ready for the baby. I know this is important, and I don’t want to feel these feelings, but I recognize that they are there and I don’t feel as connected to her the past few days.
- I’m not as connected with God either. I have been working on step work and journal entries every day for the last 46 days, but this work has limited the time I’ve made to study the scriptures. I want to get back to this – hence this post.
- Growing my business – this is something Stan and I have been talking about. I want to do this, but I think internally I question whether or not I can really do it successfully.
It feels good just to write this stuff out on paper.
I want to submit my will to God. I can do this by studying the scriptures, saying personal prayers, and then getting to work and doing the best I can.
Here are some scriptures that stick out to me as I look through the topical guide about submissiveness:
- Submit yourselves therefore to God: James 4:7 .
- learned is good if they hearken unto the counsels of God: 2 Ne. 9:29 .
- willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict: Mosiah 3:19 .
- humble themselves … submitting themselves: Mosiah 21:13 .
- be humble, and be submissive: Alma 7:23 .
- led by the Holy Spirit, becoming … submissive: Alma 13:28 .
- sanctification cometh because of … yielding … unto God: Hel. 3:35 .
James 4:7 is a good one:
7 Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
As I looked more around this scripture, I noticed the sub-title:
Wars are born of lusts—The friends of the world are the enemies of God—Sin is failure to walk in the light we have received.
How fitting this is.
Verse 2 says “Ye lust, and have not: ye kill, and desire to have, and cannot obtain: ye fight and war, yet ye have not, because ye ask not.”
I understand this to mean that lust is synonymous with never having enough of something or scarcity. Where the opposite would be satisfied with what I have, grateful, and enough. I’m reading about that now in the book Daring Greatly.
I also get from verse 2 that a key to having enough is to ask. I think this means asking Heavenly Father. I feel strongly that I can and want to pray more. I often start prayers and then get distracted with other thoughts or feelings based on what I’m saying. I would like to practice the meditation techniques too.
Verse 3 of James 4 says this:
Ye ask, and receive not, because ye ask amiss, that ye may consume it upon your lusts.
So what I understand about this scripture is that asking for things that I don’t need is not going to work either. Asking amiss (wickely, wrongly).
In Helaman 10:5 it talks about Nephi and how he asks for the help of God:
…for thou shalt not ask that which is contrary to my will.
Verse 4 reminds me so much of the “Beware of Pride” talk by President Benson:
Ye adulterers and adulteresses, know ye not that the friendship of the world is enmity with God? whosoever therefore will be a friend of the world is the enemy of God.
Who am I trying to please? God or the world?
What are my intentions?
Enmity with God means hatred toward, opposition towards. “God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble.” (vs. 6)
I like this scripture too:
How do I draw nigh to God?
I feel I can do this by saying personal prayers, asking for help in the moments of temptation or fear or isolation, writing out my feelings, studying His Gospel, and doing my best to do the things He would have me do.
I’m grateful for the time I’ve taken today to write out my feelings.
I want to feed my spirit with stuff like this.
I love my family and want to be there for each of them.