I need the Atonement today. The last few days have been stressful: so much going on, no time to just relax, all go, go, go.
I need to take a step back, be grateful for what I have, and live in recovery today.
I want to connect with God.
I want to connect with Becky.
I want to connect with the kids.
I want to get all the work done that I have on my list of to-do’s.
And mostly, I want to use the Atonement today to live in recovery and have serenity.
I had a good morning playing basketball, although I did get a bit resentful about a few calls. But overall, it felt good to be there.
One of the questions I have today is what I should do about my relationship with FS: there are multiple projects that are lagging behind schedule and I don’t feel good about adding more projects to my (or their) plate if the one’s we have can’t get done on time.
I’ve tried to tell my contact this but maybe I need to write it out on paper.
I feel my connection with the guys there is a good one, but that things have not been as good this year. Part of this could be due to work I am getting for MM, part of this could be that they are growing on their own without me and simply don’t have the time for the smaller projects anymore, and part of it could be my anxiety with how things have been going with current projects.
What does Heavenly Father want me to do?
What is the best thing to do for my family?
How can I be my best self and be true to what I want to be?
Where do I want things to go with them? Where do I want things to go with MM?
I think I have some doubt that Heavenly Father even cares about these small and simple things. But then I remember what I read the other day with the kids in the scriptures:
Now ye may suppose that this is foolishness in me; but behold I say unto you, that by small and simple things are great things brought to pass; and small means in many instances doth confound the wise.
And the Lord God doth work by means to bring about his great and eternal purposes; and by very small means the Lord doth confound the wise and bringeth about the salvation of many souls. (Alma 37:6-7)
By small and simple things are great things brought to pass. How does that apply to me? Maybe by doing the small and simple things for my clients, I can develop those business relationships more, get more referrals, and take good care of them as well.
I feel I’ve learned the opposite of that with FS: they don’t seem to take great care of their “smaller” clients. They just d0 the work and then let it go.
I can reach out to my clients, ask them questions, and be a problem solver for them.
I can provide services and solutions that will help them increase their bottom line.
What I feel I need to do is ask them more questions about their business and how I can help.
I feel I can also ask more for referrals and provide a service or benefit in return.
I’m grateful for the answers I feel I’ve received today. I do need to be honest with Russ, let him know how I feel, and tell him that I just want to have integrity with our clients.
I don’t want to burn any bridges with them, but I also don’t want to continue to add projects to their plates and then never see the return and continue to frustrate the clients we currently have.
I will create a letter today that states my concerns. I will have Becky review it if she has time; and I will do my best to submit my will to God and ask for His help and guidance in even the small and simple things.
Becky just shared her journal with me and this hit home:
The first tool is prayer. Choose to converse with your Father in Heaven often. Make time every day to share your thoughts and feelings with Him. Tell Him everything that concerns you. He is interested in the most important as well as the most mundane facets of your life. Share with Him your full range of feelings and experiences.
I want to share my thoughts and feelings with Him. I want to feel that He does care about these small and simple business things. I want to be my best self to Becky and the kids.