Feeling the Stresses of Vacation from Work

Yesterday went pretty well. I started the day off well and felt good about the day.

We went on a “sibling” date last night, which, in the past, has been really fun. This time, though, Drake and Gini weren’t there and Norbie decided to invite Mom and Dad. This completely changed the dynamic of the “tradition” and made it an “all about Mom and her problems” date.

At the end of the day, I don’t care that much, but it wasn’t what Beck or I was expecting.

I would say the worst part of the whole date was when, near the end, Megan and Norb started going on and on about Steph and Andy and how tough it is to get along with Steph. Then went on and on about how crazy and controlling she is…

I didn’t know what to do and don’t know for sure what I’d do in the future if that situation came up again (maybe just get up and leave), but it felt really uncomfortable. I kept thinking, “Man, if they talk this negatively about Steph and Andy behind their back, I wonder how they talk about me behind mine?”

I also thought, “I’m so broken – I don’t know how I could talk that bad about others…” I know in the past I’ve talked about others, but at least today, I don’t feel like I’m in that position. All I can do is row my own boat and worry about ME.

I don’t want the experience from last night influence how I feel today. I want to surrender it to God and let it go. Unfortunately, it seems Megan and Norb have issues that they need to work on but it’s not my job to point them out to them or try to fix them.

I’m grateful to be married to Becky. I’m grateful that we’re in recovery together. I’m grateful that today is a day I can surrender to God.

I’m feeling the stresses of work. I got emails from the U last night/today and then followed up with Devin. I’m nervous that he’s not seeing all the emails before he starts working on things and there may be duplicate projects being worked on.

I also have a lot of bidding to do today. Here’s my list of things to do in order of importance:

1. Bid for the U ongoing work (3 month and 6 month contract)
2. Bid for Bryce Canyon (FS)
3. Bid for Paul Allen (MM)
4. Bid for Jennie P (MM)
5. Bid for Steve Hill (FS)

I also need to make sure the RedZone Mobile stuff is finalized and that we aren’t duplicating work that Graham is already doing.

I also need to figure out how I’m going to get the following things done:

• AAir changes
  • Meet the experts
  • www vs non-www
• ALaMode changes
  • clean up
  • Authorize.net issue after check out
• BDT updates?
• GoEpic updates?

I also want to make sure I have time to study. The talk “Our Strengths Can Become Our Downfall” had some good thoughts today:

Satan uses every possible device to degrade and enslave every soul. He attempts to distort and corrupt everything created for the good of man, sometimes by diluting that which is good, sometimes by camouflaging that which is evil. We generally think of Satan attacking us at our weakest spot. Elder Spencer W. Kimball of the Quorum of the Twelve described this technique when he said: “Lucifer and his followers know the habits, weaknesses, and vulnerable spots of everyone and take advantage of them to lead us to spiritual destruction” (The Miracle of Forgiveness, Salt Lake City: Bookcraft, 1969, pp. 218–19).

Satan is deceptive and deceiving. He is always attacking. This is why Captain Moroni was always fortifying is weakest cities and building up the walls and defenses.

This sums it up nicely:

…many of us have a special weakness that can be exploited to our spiritual downfall. For some, that weakness may be a taste for liquor, an unusual vulnerability to sexual temptation, or a susceptibility to compulsive gambling or reckless speculation. For others, it may be a craving for money or power. If we are wise, we will know our weaknesses, our spiritual Achilles’ heels, and fortify ourselves against temptations in those areas.

But weakness is not our only vulnerability. Satan can also attack us where we think we are strong—in the very areas where we are proud of our strengths. He will approach us through the greatest talents and spiritual gifts we possess. If we are not wary, Satan can cause our spiritual downfall by corrupting us through our strengths as well as by exploiting our weaknesses.

This is an interesting concept. Not only can Satan come at me via my weaknesses, but he can also come at me via my strengths.

I gotta head out.

Hasta luego!

Nate