Today is a good day. I had the chance yesterday to talk with both my sponsees and felt good about the direction they are both facing.
I’m really grateful to have had a sponsor and to be a sponsor.
I tried to share some of what I’ve learned last night with one of my sponsees but am not sure how it came across so I thought I’d write it out.
What I’ve learned as a sponsor
- my job isn’t to fix the person
- my job is simply to share what’s working for me and invite them to do the same or do what is working for them as long as it is within the bounds set for recovery
- having them call me holds them accountable
- if I have to call them or remind them to do their step work, we need to have a conversation about their level of commitment to recovery
- If they aren’t willing to keep the commitments they agreed to when starting the 90 day program, it’s best for me to let them go until they are ready to truly commit: a common issue with addicts is that we think we can live by our own set of rules and still be ok with God – this isn’t the case and never will be
- when I have questions, I can always ask Mark what his thoughts are
- i need to encourage sponsees to dig deep about their feelings and emotions. If they aren’t willing to dig deep, they may not be ready for recovery yet
- Answering sponsees via email, text or even calling is so helpful, both for the sponsees and for me to continue to live in recovery
- sharing what I’m learning with my wife is always helpful, even though sometimes it’s not easy and reminds her of where I’ve been in the past
- the spouse needs to be involved in her own recovery and healing if the relationship is really going to heal – she’s got to understand what the addiction is and what’s happening so she can recognize when and if he’s falling back into addictive behaviors
- writing is a great and essential way to heal and surrender – things can come to the surface that never were discovered without writing things out
This is one email response I sent this morning. I feel like email responses become similar to journal entries as I’m trying to share my experience and healing.
Great job on this step today. The checklist approach to recovery has never worked for me and is often a trigger of emotions that I don’t have control of. All I can do today is try to connect with God and be willing to do His will.
His will today for me may be different than it was yesterday; I just need to be aware, be listening, and be willing to act on positive influences to do good.
I know how you feel, too, about work stress, running a business, and being ok to say no or at least not yet. It’s been interesting how much my business has progressed and how much I’ve been able to systematize as I’ve been in recovery. It’s not perfect or stress-free by any means, but the clarity is there so much more as my mind is more clear and I just want to do His will. I know He will help you in the temporal trials of life too as you ask for His help.
If you need to chat at all this week, send me a text and we can talk through things. I know the stresses of work can test our recovery mindset at times.
Have a great day and keep up the mentality of one day at a time.
That’s it for now.