The title of this post is a question my wife’s therapist encouraged her to ask me after the full disclosure in March 2014.
It’s a valid question and one that really should be asked to everyone that says they are trying to recover from porn addiction.
As I’ve thought about the answers in correlation with working with sponsees, I’ve come up with my most relevant answer to my own question.
The chin up practice is one of the best answers. And many people believe it’s just not possible.
Here’s how it’s worked for me:
First, I have to want to surrender the feelings of lust to God.
Second, I have to truly believe that my wife and family are more important than checking someone out or getting my lust hit.
Third, I have to believe that God will help me do what I can’t do on my own.
Fourth, I have to be aware of situations before I’m being bombarded by Satan’s fiery darts.
Fifth, I have to be willing to leave or go somewhere else if the darts keep coming.
Sixth, I have to pray in the moment of temptation or even before hand (and sometimes over and over again).
And finally, I have to be willing to practice. It’s just like a foul shot in basketball: the more I practice, the easier it becomes and the more I realize how important it is in being my best self.
Im grateful for my facilitator Greg who introduced me to the chin up concept, even though I didn’t believe I could do it at the time either (and I was right – I couldn’t, but God could and has been there to help me today)!