As I was reading over one of my sponsee’s work this morning, this question stuck out to me:
Will you use step 12 to show your gratitude to your Heavenly Father for the Gift of Sobriety and to continue to “fine-tune” your spirituality each day, one day at a time? Please share your feelings about the ongoing effort this will require.
This reminds me of what Becky said about Steven and how he’s working on fine-tuning his recovery after being in recovery for over 10 years now. This is commendable to me. I’m never going to be “out of the woods.” Temptations will always be there if I allow them to sneak back in. I love being a part of Step 12 as a way to show gratitude and to continue to “fine-tune” my spirituality one day at a time.
I feel like the effort is minimal for the blessings I receive as I reach out to others, hold them accountable, read their work, and think about my own recovery.
The list of things I’ve learned in recovery
- The ABC’s of Addiction Recovery
I took the opportunity today to work on this section of my research via writing to one of my sponsees about his work and answers. This is what I shared:
The Addiction Recovery Relationship has really stood out to me lately: A: Debilitating Negative Emotions B: Lust C: Sexually Acting Out. For so long in my attempts to recover on my own, I really ONLY focused on C – the acting out part. Sure, B was on my mind – I even said I was addicted to pornography, masturbation and lust. But did I really realize what I was doing every time I looked at a woman from the neck down? Did I realize that I was acting on my addiction to lust? No, I didn’t. I thought that was just normal. I thought that I was fine to look, at least for a second.
But what I’ve realized since then is that by looking, I’m allowing my mind to start comparing, coveting, and wanting what I don’t have. There will always be grass greener on the other side of the fence.
What I’m grateful for today is that, as I practice the chin-up approach, I don’t compare at all. I’m so grateful for my relationship with my wife. I value most the emotional connection we have, and I rarely have the “bad thoughts” that used to haunt me almost constantly. I thought I’d never be able to overcome that. And I’ve realized that I haven’t been able to – but with God’s help, and by doing His will of not looking at women from the neck down, He’s helped me to be able to clear my mind one moment at a time.
To add to that, I’ve realized that lust is an often minimized sin in the Church. Sure, the word comes up from time to time, but is it ever clearly defined for the youth of the Church. Do they know what it means to lust after someone?
I fear that social media is one of Satan’s secret weapons of lust.
Social media starts the fire.
Social media is synonymous with lust, comparing, coveting, and pride.
Social media reminds me of the scriptures we studied in the New Testament recently in 2 Timothy 3:
This is so clear to me today. This is talking directly about the power of social media and what it can and will do to me if I let it in.
“Lovers of their own selves” – this is narcissism, this is taking selfies, this is telling everyone about my perfect family, my perfect life, my perfect whatever.
“Covetous” – this is what social media invites. Why else would anyone want an Instagram account other than to covet others – their life, their body, their wife or significant other, their travels, their home, whatever?
“Boasters” – welcome to Facebook posts, to Tweets, even to Youtube videos.
I could go on and on, but to me, today, this is all so clear and so scary. But today I know in whom I have trusted. I don’t want to go to those things. I don’t want to put myself in the gulf of misery of social media.
I saw this video yesterday via an email and wanted to shout, “A F&*)&) MEN!”
I started reading the comments and stopped right away, because I felt immediately the mentality of Satan who was justifying, demeaning, and rationalizing the tools he uses to lure people in.
I’m grateful for my study today and for the things I’ve realized about the Addiction Recovery Relationship.
More to come tomorrow.
The list of things I’ve learned in recovery
- Buying My Weapons of War
- Is “One Day at a Time” Just a Recovery Cliche?
- Why Sponsorship?
- ARPSupport.org – the kick-start to true recovery
- It Works When I Work It!
- Multiple Meetings a Week
- The Pro’s of LDS ARP Meetings
- The Con’s of LDS ARP Meetings
- What is SAL? And Why Do I Need It?
- The Top Addiction Recovery Books to Read
- Addiction Recovery and the AEIOU’s
- Journal Writing: The Key to Connection with Self, God, Spouse, and Others
- Why Sponsees?