I’m pretty stressed right now. Trying to get things done for Utah DEP and coordinate with Devin.
Working with him has been a bit stressful: he doesn’t seem to have a ton of motivation to get things done. I realize that his job takes precedence, it’s just difficult. I feel like the solution I really need is to find a dedicated contractor I can work with – Barry might be that guy, although I’m not sure how good he is at coding like Devin.
This is all I have to write right now.
I want to write about the talk we had with Caleb night before last (on Saturday night). I feel like this was a big step in recovery for me (and for him) and that it will make a big difference in how we communicate moving forward.
I’m back now. I have had a good morning and early afternoon – got a lot of things done, but hadn’t had (or made) time to connect with God.
So I’ll do that now.
What does God want me to learn about myself today?
One thing that comes to mind as I ask myself that question is this: what’s the difference between wanting to progress (in business, in knowledge, in connection, in recovery) and in being grateful and content for what I have?
In my patriarchal blessing, it talks about how I will have trials of discouragement and discontent. As I’ve worked on recovery from my addiction, discontent has been brought to my attention.
What is discontent?
How is it part of my addiction?
What does discontent have to do with expectations?
This quote, to me, is confusing:
“Restlessness,” said Thomas Edison, “is discontent, and discontent is the first necessity of progress. Show me a thoroughly satisfied man and I will show you a failure.”
What’s the answer?
This seems to be a pretty good answer:
But with honest repentance, improvement, and a sense of being on our way toward something better, we can balance content and discontent with patience and faith, knowing that there is an eternal plan and purpose, even though from hour to hour and day to day we see only an incomplete picture.
A sense of being on our way toward something better.
We have to do what we can, where we are, with what we have—and not expect all answers here and now, but wait until the play progresses. Happiness is to use life well—with faith for the future.
I feel there’s a balance – it’s good to want to progress, to get better, and to meet my potential.
But I also have to always acknowledge God’s hand in my life, be grateful for what I’ve been given, and not have unrealistic expectations, or any expectations for that matter. But instead, be grateful and happy for what I have, not take things for granted, and always be willing to seek God’s will in my life.
I feel God’s will for me at this point in my life is to continue working recovery.
I feel God’s will for me with business is to keep chugging along and be grateful to be part of the process.
I feel I need to be honest in my dealings, put forth the best effort, and always be making progress.
I feel I shouldn’t set number goals too much or focus on what I don’t have, but instead, always be thinking about how I can offer better service to those I work with.
As I looked at this last General Conference talk list, I found this talk and quote that stuck out:
If we are humble and teachable, the Holy Ghost will prompt us to improve and lead us home, but we need to ask the Lord for directions along the way.
To me, that’s a pretty direct answer.
With those ingredients, the Holy Ghost will lead me by the hand and give me answers to my prayers. I also need to be asking for the Lord’s direction along the way.
I’m excited for what I’ve discovered today and look forward to a continued day in recovery.