Well, it’s a new day! I got to bed last night before 12:00 so that felt good.
I’ve thought about my proposal that I created for the comp. adjustment and feel I ‘ll hold off on showing it to Dane and Jason C. until they come up with something. That way I can “breast my cards” and see what they have in mind.
I still feel resentment toward Dane today: I feel he’s avoiding me and not wanting to talk because he doesn’t know what to say.
I feel my main issue is PRIDE – as I read the Big Book last night these things stuck out:
It is plain that a life which includes deep resentment leads only to futility and unhappiness.
Where had we been selfish, dishonest, self-seeking and frightened?
I said a simple prayer this morning for help humbling myself and doing God’s will, not fearing man. I really feel prayers can help me if I’m CONSISTENT!
Things I’m Grateful Today:
- That the company served all the coaches breakfast
- That my coaches keep me in the loop with 3rd party vendor issues
- That my coaches seem to respect me as a manager and appreciate that I “go to bat” for them
- That honesty is an important part of my character in business
- That I like the coaches I work with
- That I get to meet Brett today to finalize DA contract
- That I got two new orders today at CO
AAAAHHHH….while I writing this I get an “Employee Counseling Report” from Dane talking about my “Negative Behavior”.
It just seems I can’t win…
I’m really, really trying to get this past me.
I think it’s time to really look hard for other options.
I really want to do what’s right for my family. I really want to do what God wants me to do.
I don’t want to be selfish or self-seeking. I don’t want to be greedy. I don’t want to have a bad attitude all the time at work.
I really need to pray hard about this.
Nate
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