I talked at my last meeting in Springville with a friend, Steve, who has been in recovery for over a year. I have been thinking about who I could work with as a sponsor and he feels like the right one.
Since he’s never been a sponsor before, and since I’ve only really had the one sponsor prior to this, we are not 100% sure how to do things.
Here is a program B’s sponsor uses. I think it’s very structured and well thought out.
Outline/Agreement for Sponsorship
- Each morning first thing, along with prayer and scripture study, do the assignment given for that day and email it to me.
- Meet with me at the completion of each week’s assignment and go over it together.
- Each evening at the close of the day, along with prayer, write a journal entry of that day’s blessings and spiritual feelings and impressions and email it to me.
- Each week, attend PASG meeting. Plan which meeting you will be attending regularly and let me know which it is.
- Commit to devoting 90 days uninterrupted to this effort, to follow it consistently and diligently to its completion.
- Understand that failure to successfully achieve permanent sobriety will likely mean re-starting this process along with the 90 day commitment.
- A note about relationships: it is not wise to make any changes in your relationship status during this process. If married or in a committed relationship,m stay that way if at all possible. Give your recovery time to work and help change things for the better. SHOW your spouse, by your example, what the program can do. Until recovery is achieved (or until you have at least 90 days in recovery), both you and your spouse are in serious jeopardy. Be honest and considerate. Trust in the Lord and be patient with this process!
I, _________________, agree to the conditions outlined above. I understand that failure to comply with these guidelines will constitute a breach of contract with my sponsor and will violate this agreement, freeing my sponsor from his commitment to aid me in this process.
This is the document my wife’s sponsor gave to her. I think it’s pretty straight forward. I think it takes a concerted effort for both parties.
I’m going to share it with Steve and see what he thinks.
Now to my study for today –
What does it mean to be 100% honest?
This is a question I had today after riding my bike while B ran. We had a good talk last night and this morning. I read to her my 12 steps that I’ve learned. However, in the process of reading, I left one out for two reasons:
- It was the one about her not bringing back up my past errors so I was a bit concerned that she’d be upset that I wrote it.
- I also felt that it was something we’d already talked about so I didn’t need to re-hash it.
On our walk/ride today, I asked if what I shared had helped at all. She noted that she’d seen the step I didn’t read and mentioned that she feels I don’t lie, but that I sometimes tell “half-truths” – or enough that I feel justified. I actually did this initially with the “mistake” by telling B I met with her and that it was about business – all of which were true but there was more to the story that I conveniently left out.
So what does it mean to be 100% honest? And when, or is, it ever ok to leave some details out?
Steve shared a talk with me the other day titled “The Lords Standard on Morality”.
“Your honor, may I remind you that when the Supreme Court speaks on a matter, it only needs to speak once…So it is with God our Father—He only needs to speak once on the issue of morality, and that one declaration trumps all the opinions of the “lower courts,” whether uttered by psychologists, counselors, politicians, friends, parents or would-be moralists of the day…
[God’s moral standards] build relationships of trust, they enhance self-esteem, they foster a clear conscience, and they invite the Spirit of the Lord to bless our individual and married lives. They are the proven standard for happy marriages and stable communities.”
I read the entire article and there were lots of good recommendations.
I feel, to be 100% honest, it first needs to start with my relationship with God.