Today has been a pretty good day. I was a bit upset when I found out a deal I was hoping for ended up going with their home teacher for high-end custom web design. I had to laugh and say to myself – “Only in Utah…”
Recovery, what does that mean?
Sobriety – is there a difference in the two?
For me sobriety is synonymous with abstinence. It’s abstaining from doing something. It’s staying clean from the addiction.
Recovery, for me, is a bit deeper. It is related to sobriety for sure, because, in order to be in “recovery” one has to be sober as well. But recovery has more to do with submission to God. As I’m in recovery, I’m proactively doing things that will help me stay sober. These things include:
- Journal writing
- Scripture study
- Study of other religious articles
- Attending recovery meetings
- Working the steps of recovery (which I want to do more)
- Submitting my will to God in the moment of temptation
- Practicing the chin-up every day, every moment
- Talking with Becky about recovery
I think today I’ve been a bit stressed about the upcoming month. Financially, I didn’t have the best month in August. A few deals I hoped to collect on or finalize have drug on, and other projects have required more of my time than I’d like.
How can I deal with these temporal stresses and not let them affect me spiritually?
Here are some things that come to mind:
- I can start my day off right away with scripture study, writing, and personal prayer (I didn’t start off the day today with all these things)
- I can write out specific small action goals that I want to accomplish today, maybe even breaking down big projects into bite-sized pieces
- I can take time to do other things (exercise, eat, etc.) that will help me re-energize my work batteries
- I can read from a good book that will give me ideas on how to best manage and work on my business
- I can talk with Becky about my fears and vulnerabilities and ask for her help in mapping out plans for the next steps
Step 4 Work
REVIEWING YOUR LIFE
“I invite each one of you to thoughtfully review your life. Have you deviated from the standards that you know will bring happiness? Is there a dark corner that needs to be cleaned out? Are you now doing things that you know are wrong? Do you fill your mind with unclean thoughts? When it is quiet and you can think clearly, does your conscience tell you to repent?
“For your peace now and for everlasting happiness, please repent. Open your heart to the Lord and ask Him to help you. You will earn the blessing of forgiveness, peace, and the knowledge you have been purified and made whole. Find the courage to ask the Lord for strength to repent now” (Richard G. Scott, in Conference Report, Apr. 1995, 103; or Ensign, May 1995, 77).
Step 4 is one way to follow Elder Scott’s counsel. Find a quiet time to pray for direction and courage as you review your life. Prayerfully seek time for self-evaluation, and record the ideas that come to you as you consider Elder Scott’s questions.
MY ANSWERS
I’ve thought about the inventory and had questions about whether I should start it completely over or just add to what I’d done before and do an inventory from where I’d left off. I feel that’s the best for me – to pick up where I left off and do a thorough inventory from there.
In the work I did with my former sponsor, we talked about a template that helped me map out my inventory. It had the following details:
- Resentments
- Fears
- Sexual Harms
- Others Harms
- Good things (this one I added)
Then the step 4 inventory template went as follows:
Review of Resentments
- I am resentful at:
- The Cause:
- Affects my: (Part of self that was threatened) Self-esteem, Security, Ambitions, Personal Relations, Sexual Relations)
- What did I do? (How did I set the ball rolling?)
- Where had I been? (Selfish, Dishonest, Self-seeking, Frightened, Inconsiderate)
Review of Fears
- I am fearful of:
- The Cause
- Affects my: (Part of self that was threatened) Self-esteem, Security, Ambitions, Personal Relations, Sexual Relations
- What did I do? (How did I set the ball rolling?)
- Where had I been? Selfish, Dishonest, Self-seeking, Frightened, Inconsiderate
Review of Sexual Harms Done
- Who did I hurt?
- What did I do?
- Affects my: (Part of self that caused my action) Security Instinct, Social Instinct, Sex Instinct
- What feelings did I create in others?
- What should I have done instead?
- Where had I been? Selfish, Dishonest, Self-seeking, Frightened, Inconsiderate
Review of Other Harms Done
- Who did I hurt?
- What did I do?
- Affects my: (Part of self that caused my action) Security Instinct, Social Instinct, Sex Instinct
- What feelings did I create in others?
- What should I have done instead?
- Where had I been? Selfish, Dishonest, Self-seeking, Frightened, Inconsiderate
ACKNOWLEDGING THE PAST
“Turn away from your sins; shake off the chains of him that would bind you fast; come unto that God who is the rock of your salvation” (2 Nephi 9:45).
Turning away from sins and shaking off addictive chains cannot begin until you acknowledge that the sins and chains exist. Write about the resistance you feel when you think about being completely honest about your past.
I acknowledge that addictive chains are there and have been there. At this point, I honestly don’t feel like I have any resistance about being completely honest about my past. I think the main thing I want to focus on is making sure I’ve dug deep and am not leaving things out.
I’m willing to turn away from my sins.
I’m willing to shake off the chains that bind me.
I’m willing to do whatever I can every day to not ever fall back into the pits I’ve been in.
I’m willing to do whatever I can today.
Hasta manana!
Nate
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