Today has been a decent day.
I got to meet with one of the upper management at a local credit union today to talk about updating their website, while at the same time submitting our paper work to refinance our new house at 3.75% interest rate. I’ve also been talking with the U of U about re-doing their site, AND I have a deal pending with my almamater to redo their site. All these sites are high-end so it’s a bit stressful but fun.
I just got done reading Beck’s latest journal entry and it made me think about how effective it is to share our thoughts from our journals together (at least most of the time).
Why is this?
Why should we “let it all hang out” and share what we’re feeling with one another?
It reminds me of the book I’ve been chipping away at about vulnerability. Being vulnerable is scary but it’s an absolute truth. If we don’t have someone to share our fears, trials, hard times, great times, and weaknesses with – someone we trust will not throw them back at us at a later vulnerable time, we tend to keep those secrets locked inside, and secrets aren’t good for anyone.
The Book of Mormon is really a compilation of journal entries. Obviously many of the entries were inspired by God and many (if not most or all) were written with our day in mind, but who’s to say that some of our journal entries aren’t inspired by God, written from our core, written as we try to listen to the still small voice tell us what we’re feeling and where we’re headed?
…and we write according to our prophecies; that our children may know to what source they may look for remission of their sins. (2 Nephi 25:26)
If I think too much about it, it would be hard for me to have my children read all the pain and hurt and sorry I’ve put Becky through. But in some ways I want them to read it as an example of where I was, how that felt, and how awful Satan can capture us in his snares.
I’m sure Caleb can recall how mean, angry and impatient I was with him during my terrible times.
I’m sure he’s still trying to get over that – especially getting over the poor example I was and trying to not act like I had been acting.
I’m hopeful he feels different today.
I’m hopeful he feels my love for him.
I’m hopeful my example today reflects more how I really want to be.
I wasn’t perfect with him today: I was hard on him a bit at his game – mostly because I always want to see him doing his best and giving it all he can.
I don’t expect him to be perfect or never mess up. But I’m NEVER EVER a fan of the half-assed mentality.
I am reading the 1st Presidency Message from LDS.org right now. It’s by President Monson and is titled: Ponder the Path of They Feet.
Here’s one quote I really like:
When we came to the earth, we brought with us that great gift from God—even our agency. In thousands of ways we are privileged to choose for ourselves. Here we learn from the hard taskmaster of experience. We discern between good and evil. We differentiate as to the bitter and the sweet. We learn that decisions determine destiny.
- Choosing for ourselves.
- Learning from the hard taskmaster of experience.
- Discerning between good and evil.
- Differentiating the bitter from the sweet.
- Decisions determine destiny.
This is what life is all about. And how can I, or anyone, really come to know God and His will if I’m ensnared in the flaxen chords of Satan and addition? This is the opposite of agency. In fact, if left unbridled, an addict no longer even remembers what the sweet really even tastes like.
Although we are left to find and follow that path which will lead us back to our Father in Heaven, He did not send us here without direction and guidance. Rather, He has given us the tools we need, and He will assist us as we seek His help and strive to do all in our power to endure to the end and gain eternal life.
What are these tools?
- Prophets and apostles – the men at the watchtower
- Personal prayer
- The restored gospel of Jesus Christ
I like what it says – “…He will assist us as we seek His help…”
He’s there waiting at the door. He wants so much to open the windows of Heaven and poor out blessings upon me and upon my family. He wants me to follow Him and keep His commandments so I can have the most happiness and peace in this life and in the life to come.
I want this too.
I want to have a happy and peaceful life with my family.
I want Becky to love and trust me.
I want my kids to want to be like me because of who I am and how I treat them.
I want to serve and learn and grow and become my best self.
I want to put aside anything that will “easily beset me” or hold me back.
…physically walking where Jesus walked is less important than walking as He walked. Emulating His actions and following His example are far more important than trying to retrace the remnants of the trails He traversed in mortality.
This is also fitting:
Each of us will walk the path of disappointment, perhaps because of an opportunity lost, a power misused, a loved one’s choices, or a choice we ourselves make. The path of temptation too will be the path of each. We read in the 29th section of the Doctrine and Covenants: “And it must needs be that the devil should tempt the children of men, or they could not be agents unto themselves.”12
I’m grateful for another day of recovery.
I’m grateful I submitted my will to God today.
I’m grateful He helped me keep my chin up and focus on what’s most important.
I will look forward to another day of submission and recovery tomorrow.
Hasta manana (in Bryce Canyon)!