Today was good but today was hard. Here’s why it was hard:
First, I was up way late last night picking up my sister in law from the airport. This lateness caused feelings of tiredness all day. And being tired can be tough, especially with addiction.
Next, it’s the first of the month so it’s goal time for my business. I love what I do but there is always self imposed stress to hit goals, exceed expectations, and make more deals.
Finally, I’m coming off a holiday and its catch up time. There were so many things to get done, finalize, follow up on.
So these three things made the day hard.
On a positive note, I did make time in the morning to work on step work, which felt good. It is hard to think back on the start of my addiction and wish I would have done things different way back when so I wouldn’t have to go through all the hardship and change now, but ultimately I’m grateful for the changes I’m making and what I’m learning about submitting my will to God one day at a time.
I got a lot of things done on my to do list today and don’t feel I wasted time at all. I got to take a 30 minute power nap which was awesome!
I got yeses on 3 deals today, which I’m grateful for.
I was grateful to have had a good talk with Beck tonight about recovery and the AEIOUYs.
I’m grateful she’s been so supportive and willing to work on recovery with me.
I’m grateful that talking about our day together has become a night time routine.
I’m grateful we read Alma 41 which talked about sin and restoration and how wickedness never was happiness.
I’m grateful for the Beware of Pride talk and how the program has helped me realize how much I have let pride dominate my decisions in the past.
I’m grateful for Becky’s prayer tonight that I can get things done and provide for our family as I put my trust in Him.
I’m grateful that tomorrow is a new day where I plan to submit my will to God and live one day in recovery.
I’m grateful for the program and for The Atonement in my life.
I’m grateful to understand it a bit more now than I have in the past.
I’m grateful that although today wasn’t easy, I was able to stay focused on what I want most and not allow myself to browse or waste time playing with fire.