Today was a good day overall. We luckily got to sleep in a bit after a super long night at the Forgotten Carols and then talking.
We had a big breakfast where I felt I nailed the cooking of the eggs. Then I worked in my recovery work and we got ready for the day. Even though we’d done some outside, today was a Christmas decorating day. It was nice to have Mom and Mandy there to help. We got garlands up on the railings, lights hung in places and I got the red and green light bulbs in outside. It’s been fun to have a house where we can decorate and enjoy it.
After a long day of decorating. We got ready to head to salt lake to see the temple square lights. Before we left, mom showed Mandy a video from Mormon messages about getting answers to prayers. I could tell from watching that Mandy was so hard and blocking any potential feeling. It’s really sad and reminds me a lot of how things were with me in my bad times.
It’s sad to see Mandy try to reject what she’s been taught her whole life. I think about her a lot and am nervous for her and for the decisions she’s made and plans to make of going to Oregon State to school (leaving Utah because she just doesn’t see herself settling down here).
I compare her a lot to alma the younger and how he was going about preaching or trying to destroy the church. I don’t know what she does for sure but I know she’s known as the ex-Mormon who “found Jesus.” It’s hard because it’s not my business, but I get nervous for all the consequences I see coming her way.
Anyway, I had a good talk with Caleb tonight about the day, what happened that was good, and what we could work on tomorrow. We talked about the tendency to explode or overreact and how that’s not a great feeling. We talked about what we could do. I ask him if he could help me and if e could try to lead by example. Tomorrow I will be praying for help to not overreact; I will pray with him too.
I’m grateful for the talks we’ve had lately. I’m grateful that I have the desire to want to talk to him one in one.
I’m grateful he’s such a good boy.
I’m grateful we got so much decorating done today as a family.
I’m grateful to have been at the City Creek mall, have been aware of my surroundings, have said a few prayers for help, and have surrendered my will to God. I felt the night went really well in that regard.
I’m grateful to be getting to bed earlier tonight.
I’m grateful tomorrow is Sunday and that I can renew my covenants with Heavenly Father.
I’m grateful I closed a deal today for LM. Mom always seems to bring me good luck with my business – when she’s around I close deals. It’s probably Heavenly Father trying to show he that it’s ok to own my own business.
I’m grateful the we got to go to the Pie tonight.
I’m grateful that the day is over and I can rest.