Yesterday I started a study on justice and mercy as it pertains to addiction recovery and sponsorship.
I had this question because I’ve been assigned two sponsees, Andrew and Grant. Andrew was assigned first and we talked on the phone for a bit. I gave him the assignments and felt I was pretty clear on expectations.
However, after the first day, he sent an email stating that he wouldn’t be able to get to his step work until later in the day. Then he didn’t submit any journal entries at all. Ultimately, he said he was with his kids and wouldn’t be able to get to his step work until a few days later.
Per the outline and commitment that sponsees agree to, this wasn’t ok. Mark even sent me an email stating that obviously this person wasn’t ready and that I needed to drop him for now.
I felt bad. I felt hesitant. I wanted to be merciful since I know we all have things come up.
But as I thought more about it I realized that addiction will always allow things to get in the way. Addiction is all about justification. Addiction doesn’t care if we are trying to prioritize the best we know how; instead, it will walk all over us when we are trying to “white-knuckle” it and do what WE think is best.
Recovery is the opposite. Recovery is about putting God and HIS priorities first in our lives. In recovery, I feel submitting to Him is even more important than family – because if I don’t submit to Him, I have the strong possibility of losing my family since they can’t save me from my addictions. Recovery is about being completely committed to doing whatever I can do to submit: prayer, scripture study, step work, and ongoing submission and prioritizing on the Lord’s terms. Recovery will always be there for me, waiting for me patiently, but I have to CHOOSE it. I have to show God and others that I’m willing to do whatever it takes to rid my life of my addictions one day, one moment, at a time.
What I realized as I read the emails from my first sponsee was that he has desires to change his life, but he’s also ok with doing it all on his own terms even though the outline for sponsorship is very clear and straight forward.
After not getting his step work yesterday morning or getting his journal entry the night before, I made the decision to send him an email stating that for now, I would let him get things worked out; then he could go back to the website, re-submit his information, and get a new sponsor. This was a hard decision, but I feel like it was best for him.
In contrast, my other sponsee seems to be right on top of things and willing to do whatever he can to overcome his addictions. I’m grateful to have the opportunity to work as a sponsor and hope that I can be helpful as I work on my own recovery one day at a time.
I’m grateful to be able to write these feelings out too. It feels right, and I know that Heavenly Father isn’t giving up on Andrew – Andrew just has to get to a place where he’s ready to submit completely and whole-heartedly to his recovery – not letting anything or anyone else get in the way.
Today, I want to continue my study of justice and mercy by reading through Alma 42 where Alma is talking with his son Coriantumur, who has made bad choices related to the Law of Chastity.
Verse 1 summarizes the entire problem Coriantumur is having:
1 And now, my son, I perceive there is somewhat more which doth worry your mind, which ye cannot understand—which is concerning the ajustice of God in the bpunishment of the sinner; for ye do try to suppose that it is cinjustice that the sinner should be consigned to a state of misery.
Should a sinner be punished? If God loves his children, why would he make them feel miserable? Or is it Him who is making them feel miserable?
In verse 4, Alma explains why we are here on earth – at least one of the reasons:
4 And thus we see, that there was a atime granted unto man to repent, yea, a bprobationary time, a time to repent and serve God.
We’re here to be tested, to repent, and to serve God and others.
I really like the deeper description in verse 7:
7 And now, ye see by this that our first parents were acut off both temporally and spiritually from the bpresence of the Lord; and thus we see they became subjects to follow after their own cwill.
We are cut off, both temporally (we’re going to die) and spiritually (we are going to sin and thus, we can’t be a close to God as we’d like). And because of this, we were given the opportunity to follow after our own will (this is agency).
10 Therefore, as they had become acarnal, sensual, and devilish, by bnature, this cprobationary state became a state for them to prepare; it became a preparatory state.
12 And now, there was no means to reclaim men from this fallen state, which aman had brought upon himself because of his own bdisobedience;
14 And thus we see that all mankind were afallen, and they were in the grasp of bjustice; yea, the justice of God, which consigned them forever to be cut off from his presence.
So, the fall started the plan of justice. And justice had to be there or God would cease to be God. He couldn’t forgive some and punish others – he had to follow the rules that we had all agreed on from the beginning.
However, there was then a plan of mercy as well – a Savior, the Atonement, which would allow all of us to chose to repent and to ask for help and forgiveness from our mistakes.
15 And now, the plan of mercy could not be brought about except an atonement should be made; therefore God himself aatoneth for the sins of the world, to bring about the plan of bmercy, to appease the demands of cjustice, that God might be a dperfect, just God, and a emerciful God also.
There’s the law (justice) and there’s forgiveness and the Atonement (mercy). Mercy can’t rob justice.
This is a great and logical set of questions:
17 Now, how could a man repent except he should asin? How could he sin if there was no blaw? How could there be a law save there was a punishment?
How is the Atonement even worth anything, or even necessary, if there isn’t any sin? And what is sin if there isn’t a law to break or rules to not follow? And if there is a law, doesn’t there have to be consequences if the laws are broken?
The answer:
18 Now, there was a punishment affixed, and a just law given, which brought remorse of aconscience unto man.
This answer reminds me of the one time in Chile that I got to talk to a man who said he didn’t believe in God. I had never had to deal with someone like that so it caught me a bit off guard. But ultimately, I ask him something similar to this scripture, “When you make a mistake or do something wrong, how do you feel?” He replied, “Not good…” “Well, why would you even have that feeling if there was no God and no right and wrong?” He wasn’t really sure. I don’t really remember too much more than that, but, to me, that was a testimony that there is a God and He does have a plan for us and justice and mercy really do exist in that plan.
I look forward to continuing this study tomorrow.
I know that justice and mercy are critical parts of recovery from addiction. I know that God wants me to be happy and wants to give me all the blessings. But He is also just, and if I choose to act against His will, he has to exercise that justice until I am ready to repent and utilize the plan of mercy – the Atonement.
I look forward to a day in recovery today and hope to have patience with the kids and others.
Hasta luego!
Nate
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