I’m grateful for a new day.
Last night I overreacted to Caleb’s attitude and didn’t feel good about it at all. He’s seemed to be testing, testing, testing for the last few days, stirring things up, criticizing his sisters, and causing contention.
After family night, things had gone pretty well, but he just decided to start being “funny” and do things to bug (putting his foot in Jayden’s face). Beck pointed this out, that he was just stirring things up, and we were headed to bed. On our way there, right after the recognition of him bugging, he got in Jayden’s face again and Jayden screamed.
I immediately smacked him in the check and told him to knock it off. He then freaked out right back, screamed at me and started crying hysterically. I gave him another smack on the cheek with the palm of my hand as he screamed in my face, telling him to not scream at me like that.
It was just bad.
I got Jayden ready for bed and then went in to talk to him, to apologize, and to explain my perspective. I was careful not to justify my overreacting or blame or shame. I just told him my actions were not acceptable and that I was sorry I overreacted. I did point out that yelling at an adult, no matter what the situation, is not acceptable.
I didn’t feel good about the situation and I told him this. I told him I will continue to work on being more patient with him and not expecting him to be perfect. I related it to soccer – I don’t expect him to be perfect but I do expect him to try his best.
Being a parent is hard work.
I wanted to go back and read this talk a bit more about Heavenly Father’s Fixed Standards.
These are some things that I like about the talk:
Standards for salvation are called commandments, which are given by our Father in Heaven. These standards apply to all parts of our lives and at all times. They are not selectively applied at a certain time or in a certain situation. The commandments define the tolerances required to qualify for exaltation.
To me, these are eternal laws that we all agreed to before coming to earth, receiving a body, and being given agency. I can’t selectively apply the commandments depending on how I feel today – the commandments are set and it’s my decision how I choose to follow them today.
God created us in His own image. The plan for us on this earth is to obtain a body, have experience, receive ordinances, and endure to the end. Standards have been established and tolerances set that we need to live to qualify for exaltation. God has promised that we can be exalted, but He has also said, “I, the Lord, am bound when ye do what I say; but when ye do not what I say, ye have no promise” (D&C 82:10).
In God’s plan of salvation, we are being molded, shaped, and polished to become like Him. It is something each of us has to experience individually…
He gives us the moral agency to decide whether to accept and meet those standards. However, there are consequences to our decisions. He gave us agency, but He does not give us the authority to change the standards or the consequences of our decisions.
I really like this section. This is so applicable to me. I’ve learned through hard experience that my choices, all of my choices, have consequences. Some of those consequences are really, really painful and take a long time to repair. Regaining trust of my loved ones doesn’t happen overnight. How I treat the kids affects how they treat one another directly, and this is hard to re-teach later or alter once they’ve seen similar patterns for some time.
The doctrine of repentance allows us to correct or fix defects, but it is better to focus on meeting God’s standards than to plan on invoking the principle of repentance before the Judgment.
Amen to this. I remember so many times as a kid thinking that I could just repent later. What a terrible concept this is. It’s so much easier to stay within the standards the Lord has set than to have to suffer the consequences of my poor choices and how they affect others as well.
Heavenly Father can tell the difference between someone who truly is striving to become like Him and an individual who is pushing the edges but trying to stay just inside the acceptable limits.
There are those in the world today who are striving to dismiss or change the standards established by God. This is not a new phenomenon.
“Wo unto them that call evil good, and good evil, that put darkness for light, and light for darkness, that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter!” (2 Nephi 15:20).
We must not be deceived or give heed to those who would attempt to convince us that God’s standards have changed. They have no authority to change the standards. Only the designer, Heavenly Father, can change the specifications.
I’m grateful for this study today.
I look forward to this new day where I can focus on staying within the standards the Lord has set.
I’m grateful for my family. I’m grateful to be a dad and to try to learn all I can learn about how to be more like my Heavenly Father and His Son.
I love Becky and am so grateful to feel so connected to her emotionally. I’m so grateful she’s my best friend and that we are working together to learn and grow closer to God.
I look forward to a day in recovery!
I just got off the phone with Nikki A, one of my clients. In our call we were talking about the price and how we were raising our prices. I mentioned to her that her partner, Lauralyn, seemed pretty mad at me for having to pay for stuff. I told her what had happened and said, “Tell Lauralyn I love her and that I don’t want there to be any hard feelings…” As soon as I said it I felt weird – I don’t love Lauralyn at all, I don’t have any feelings at all for her nor have I ever. Why would I say that?
After the call I went out and talked to Becky about the call because I felt bad about what I’d said. I could tell right away that it didn’t go over well with her.
I feel sick to my stomach. I never, ever want to do things that put her trust in me in danger. I’m trying so hard today to surrender my will to God, to study, and to be organized and on top of all the tasks I’m working on. But that is no excuse or justification for saying things that may cause triggering feelings.
I told Becky I was sorry and hope that I can help her feel that I’m sorry.
Just wanted to write this out and hope that God will take away the feelings of distrust and betrayal from Becky.