I’m grateful for sponsorship. I’ve learned so much as I try to understand the best ways to listen to my sponsees and share my own experiences.
This is a recent email conversation I had today:
Sponsee Email
What a game! Stayed up late with the wifey to watch the football game and it ended well again. Learning how to surrender to the Lord and I think it’s starting to make some sense.
There are going to be times when images, people, or words will be placed in front of me and I will have a choice as to what to do with those things. I’ve been doing really well in not letting things get to me, but I have been doing it largely on my own. I push it out and try to let it go, but I haven’t been praying in those moments and specifically asking the Lord to take those things from me. To admit my lustful trigger and give it away.
I appreciate Nate being willing to talk and text. I do appreciate him a great deal. I have felt the Spirit testify to me multiple times that we have been put in each other’s path, and I hope that I can in turn find ways to help him.
I felt good at SA this morning. I felt more a part of it. More comfortable. I like it there. Megan’s dad was asking me about it. They’ve been staying at our place the last couple days so I had mentioned I was attending these meetings. We didn’t talk long, and he reacted normally and supportive, but I did get a hint of him wondering “A Sex Addict support group? That’s a little crazy.” Maybe not though. But at the same time, it’s hard to expect people to understand. I’m just barely getting there.
Today I recovered. And I will focus on tomorrow only when it becomes today. These need to become much more regular thoughts for me. I forget. I do. And I go back to my old thinking so easily of being afraid of changing and becoming complacent over time. Not productive. I feel like i keep writing about that. Anyway, there you go.
Day 51 of Sobriety and Recovery today.
My Response
Thanks for the journal entry even though it was late. My wife and I went to that game and it was amazing, especially the 4th quarter.
As I have thought about surrendering, this scripture was just mentioned and, as I looked it up, it seemed to really answer my question about how to surrender to God:
Alma 37:36 Yea, and cry unto God for all thy support; yea, let all thy doings be unto the Lord, and whithersoever thou goest let it be in the Lord; yea, let all thy thoughts be directed unto the Lord; yea, let the affections of thy heart be placed upon the Lord forever.
37 Counsel with the Lord in all thy doings, and he will direct thee for good; yea, when thou liest down at night lie down unto the Lord, that he may watch over you in your sleep; and when thou risest in the morning let thy heart be full of thanks unto God; and if ye do these things, ye shall be lifted up at the last day.
To me, this is the answer. All I can do is “cry unto the Lord in all my doings…”
When I was at the game last night, I was a bit nervous at first that it would be an opportunity for Satan to throw all kinds of fiery darts at me. I said a little prayer and ask for help.
Then, throughout the night, when I felt like there was a risky situation, I ask him for help again and reminded myself of the importance of the “chin up” approach. He was there to help.
What I’ve realized about the chin up approach is that it isn’t possible for me to do this on my own. It is crazy to even try in my own. But with Gods help I can do all things.
Like I said the other day, being a sponsor is a great blessing, especially as I can see and feel how committed you are to your own recovery.
Keep up the great work.
I will text you when I’m done with Church (at regional conference).
I’m grateful for the scripture about surrendering.
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