Today is a new day. Yesterday, especially last night, didn’t go too well.
I woke up, studied, and felt like I submitted my will to God. I had a good study, but, as I think back, I didn’t really pray or ask for guidance.
My day was packed with meetings. I went up to Draper to meet a group of clients to go over their processes. That went well, although both the women were wearing shirts that were quite low cut. I noticed it right away and feel like I did pretty well at surrendering and keeping my chin up. But the temptation was there.
After that meeting I had a call with a prospective client. This meeting went well and we covered a lot of ground – next meeting will be the solution presentation.
After that call, I could have left the coffee shop I was at and headed back home, but instead I stayed to work on projects with their WiFi.
The place wasn’t bad and not a ton of people came in, but I realize there were a few women that came in that weren’t dressed that modestly. My eyes glanced at two of them and I quickly caught myself. But I didn’t feel good about the situation. Again, I should have/could have just left but kept telling myself I could push through and get more done.
I had another good call at 2:00 to go over an audit for UX. I was really happy about the progress there.
The worst was that I then should have headed home to help Becky get ready for a stressful night, but again I wasn’t being aware and just kept working. As I look back, I feel I was just being selfish and self centered.
The night seemed to get progressively worse: I was late getting home, we barely got the kids fed before it was time for pack night, and after I dropped off kids I stayed in the van looking at ESPN and my fantasy football league for a bit – another trigger for Becky and another selfish act by me.
At bed time, Beck shared her U’s, which I agreed with.
I want to make sure I connect with God today through prayer and meditation.
Im grateful that today I can be 100% honest with myself about yesterday and the way I handled things.
Today I submit my will to Him and want to live in recovery and be aware.