Question: How do I work the steps of recovery after I’ve gone through them with a sponsor?
Working the 12 Steps of Recovery after having been through it once with my sponsor has been a question I’ve had for quite some time. I have worked the 12 steps with a sponsor in the 90 day ARP Support program and that went well. It required accountability, structure, and a commitment to work the steps each day.
But now that I’ve worked the steps once, what am I supposed to do?
I’m reading in the book “Step into Action: One, Two Three” and I found some answers:
The key to the happy, joyous, and free way of life that the SA Program promises is working the Steps.
Step work requires spending time and effort on each of these twelve stages of our recovery journey.
We begin to work the Steps the moment we admit that we’re out of control around lust. Step work is the heart of the SA Program…working the Steps means taking action.
We most likely will feel great after having done some writing on a Step. It can take quite a long time to stop the mental hamster wheel and actually sit down and start writing…
Read the pertinent material and ask God to direct the results. Set a time for ten minutes, sit down at a table, and start the count down. Write until the alarm sounds and then decide whether to continue or stop writing. It is both good and important that some work be done for recovery each day. Continuing to write means more progress on the Step. When finished, say a prayer of thanks. (p. 30 – bold/italics added for emphasis)
I thought this was direction that really applies to where I am.
I need to follow the process:
- Pray
- Start writing
- Read information about the Step
- Ask God for direction
- Write about my thoughts and intentions and how it applies
- Say a prayer of thanks
What are your thoughts on this feedback?
This point is one that I have been thinking about as I work toward finishing the 90 day program. For me in the past, consistency has always been a problem, and a sponsor post 12 step completion who simply holds my feet to the fire in expecting a daily journal entry and report on what I did that day through something as simple as an email would be incredibly beneficial.
Thanks Cameron. One thing I’ve been a bit nervous about post-90 day program was being able to be consistent as well, daily check-ins with a sponsor, ongoing emails with my journal entry – things like that.
I have talked with Steven C. about it and am also going to bring it up with the therapist I go to.
My concern is this: I’ve realized that psychologically there is a Super-Ego and an ID in me. The Super-Ego is perfectionist, go hard, study 3 hours a day, write, write, write, all these things. However, when I don’t live up to my unrealistic expectations, then, especially in the past, I would swing to the other side, the ID. This is the lazy, self-pity, and addict part of me that doesn’t really care about anything except doing nothing.
What I’ve learned lately is there has to be balance between the two.
Not sure that makes sense, but I’m going to continue to see how I can best use all the tools after working the 90 day program.
Thanks for the comment.
I would say what I have heard Steven say multiple times in meetings. He always says how he is reworking a certain step because his life has changed a lot since he worked it the first time so this time he would work it different than the first time.
I haven’t made it through all of the steps yet but I imagine once I have I will maybe work the steps again but maybe not in order the second time around.
I am sure I will see some steps that I need to focus on more than others.
For me the steps are not just for recovery but can be applied to my entire life. Especially numbers 1, 2, 3, 8, 9, 10, and 12.
Steven says this all the time “It is both good and important that some work be done for recovery each day.” I need to improve.
Great feedback Rory! Re-working steps – I like that concept a lot. I may not re-work Step 4 very often and hopefully, if I’m working Step 10, I won’t have to re-work Step 8 and 9 that much either.
Thanks for the comment. Look forward to talking with you more about this.
I agree with this. I think that reading and writing about a certain step every day is important. It is interesting going from a structured working the steps with a sponsor to then figuring out your own structure. For me being a sponsor to others has been a great way to bring some of the structure back. Often questions from my sponsors or the steps that they are working on give me added purpose in my daily step work. I think it’s important to have somewhere specific that we’re keeping these thoughts. That’s still something I’m trying to figure out for myself in terms of what format I want to keep everything in. Emails, notebook, etc.
Thanks Sean. I’ve found that too, that working with sponsees can be helpful. The one red-flag I’ve noticed about myself is that, if I’m not careful, I stop working my own recovery and think too much about how I can help/fix THEM.
Writing out my thoughts, feelings, emotions, and all that has been really helpful. I’ve been happy to have this site as a way to collect all my thoughts and feelings in one place. Although not many people come to it, it makes me happy when I see someone was searching for something like “Step 4 Inventory process” or something like that and they come here. Kind of like a living Step 12.
One book I’m reading right now is the “Step into Action” series that breaks down each step. Steven has also recommended the “12 in 12” book. I think reading spiritual stuff and recovery stuff has been helpful for me to not just go through the motions, which is what I used to do – read scriptures, check, browse the internet, check. It was an ugly cycle.
Thanks for the comment and for your friendship.