I feel crappy – both yesterday and today. I have a head cold: stuffy nose, lots of snot, headache, etc.
The thing that concerns me right now is that I don’t want to live in “self-pity.”
I know, in the past, Becky has pointed out how she feels I’m in self-pity when I’m sick – that I want extra attention, I want pampered, etc. I honestly don’t want that today. I just want to get feeling better.
So what can I do?
One thing that comes to mind is the serenity prayer:
God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference. Thy will, not mine, be done.
As I looked up the serenity prayer in the White Book, I found this quote that stuck out too:
We realize we know only a little. God will constantly disclose more to you and to us. Ask Him in your morning meditation what you can do each day for the man who is still sick. The answers will come, if your own house is in order. But obviously you cannot transmit something you haven’t got. See to it that your relationship with Him is right, and great events will come to pass for you and countless others. This is the Great Fact for us.
Abandon yourself to God as you understand God. Admit your faults to Him and to your fellows. Clear away the wreckage of your past. Give freely of what you find and join us. We shall be with you in the Fellowship of the Spirit, and you will surely meet some of us as you trudge the Road of Happy Destiny.
May God bless you and keep you – until then. (Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 164)
This is a great answer for me.
I need to work on my relationship with God as I understand Him.
What Can I Do to Improve My Relationship with God?
This is a question that’s come up a few different times. I’m not sure I always know the answer. It’s easy to give the quick seminary answers: read my scriptures, pray, serve others, go to Church. And the truth is, I do think it’s that easy, but the natural man wants to make it more difficult.
Another answer that I feel I found in the White Book today is this:
From Chapter 5 of Alcoholics Anonymous
Rarely have we seen a person fail who has throughly followed our path. Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program, usually men and women who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves….
Our stories disclose in a general way what we used to be like, what happened, and what we are like now. If you have decided you want what we have and are willing to go to any length to get it, then you are ready to take certain steps.
At some of these we balked. We thought we could find an easier, softer way. But we could not. With all the earnestness at our command, we beg of you to be fearless and thorough from the very start. Some of us have tried to hold on to our old ideas, and the result was nil until we let go absolutely.
Remember that we deal with lust – cunning, baffling, and powerful! Without help it is too much for us. But there is One who has all power – that one is God. May you find Him now.
Half measures availed us nothing. We stood at the turning point. We asked His protection and care with complete abandon…Many of us exclaimed, “What an order! I can’t go through with it.” Do not be discouraged. No one among us has been able to maintain anything like perfect adherence to these principles. We are not saints. The point is, that we are willing to grow along spiritual lines. The principles we have set down are guides to progress. We claim spiritual progress rather than spiritual perfection…Our personal adventures before and after make clear three pertinent ideas:
a) That we were sexaholics and could not manage our own lives.
b) That probably no human power could have relieved our sexaholism.
c) That God could and would if He were sought. (White Book, p. 206-207)
As I wrote this out, it caused me to think about sponsorship and my role as a sponsor and even as a sponsee. I value structure. I value a plan. I believe the cliche that says, “If you fail to plan, you plan to fail.”
So if I were creating a plan for working the steps of recovery with my sponsor, what would that look like?
My Plan for Working the Steps with Sponsees
Objectives:
- Work on one step per month
- Avoid the checklist mentality of just going through the motions
- Make recovery a practice, not an event or to-do list item
Week 1:
- The “get to know you” call (see the agenda I created)
- Talk about the ABC’s of Addiction Recovery
- Talk about surrender
- Start practicing surrender by being aware of negative feelings, emotions and triggers during the day and sending me a text when you feel them
- Start practicing nightly check-in, both with me via text/email and with your wife if possible
Week 2:
- Start Step 1
- Read for at least 10 minutes in the book Step Into Action: 1, 2, 3
- Write about your feelings in a journal (online or offline)
- Begin a Step 1 Inventory based on the questions in the Step Into Action book
- Send work to me for review daily
- Continue daily surrender via text, email, and/or call
- Check-in Call one week from the get to know you call
Week 3:
- Continue working on Step 1
- Continue reading at least 10 minutes per day in the book Step Into Action 1, 2, 3
- Continue writing about your feelings in a journal
- Continue the Step 1 Inventory
- Send work to me for review daily
- Continue daily surrender via text, email, and/or call
- Check-in Call on same day as last week
Week 4:
- Should be close to finishing the Step Into Action Book reading
- Should be close to finishing the Step 1 Inventory
- Continue writing about your feelings in a journal
- Continue daily surrender via text, email, and/or call
- Check-in Call on same day as last week
I have a meeting now but feel good about this study and writing. I want to make connections today with God and others. I want to feel better physically.
I look forward to today.
Nate
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